Hello everyone. My name is Natalie and I’m here to tell you all about America’s Sweetheart Taylor Allison Swift. Everyone adores and loves her but, others like me well, we can’t stand her nonexistent ass and I’m here to tell you everything from her phony personality to her boob job. But 1st, let’s start out with her fauxlationships.
Taylor squared timeline:
In July 2009 it was announced that Twilight star Taylor Lautner and country music sensation Taylor Swift were playing love interests in the Garry Marshall flick, “Valentine’s Day”.
Then after the 2 were cast we began getting pictures of them onset
WTF IS SHE DOING LOL
And then about 2 months later he presented her the best female music video award at the VMAS in September 2009
But then, in October 2009 they were first spotted on their 1st official date
WHY YOU HIDIN TAYLOR L?
That same month they were confirmed as a couple:
People Magazine Outs Taylor Squared’s Love Story
Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner are officially dating, according to People Magazine.
The mag lists Lautner as Swift‘s current “boyfriend.” Reps for both Taylors wouldn’t return comment.
Swift, 19, and Lautner, 17, attended a hockey game together in L.A. on Sunday and had dinner with Swift‘s mom on Monday.
Swift played it coy when recently asked about Lautner.
“I don’t know, he’s an amazing guy and we’re really close … and ah … yep,” she says on CMT Radio’s Cody Alan, airing Thursday. “We’re in a movie together and I am really excited about seeing it.”
Back in July, Taylor Squared were spotted kissing for the cameras on the set of Valentine’s Day.
And this was just the beginning lol
They began going on more dates in October
CAN’T YOU JUST FEEL THE CHEMISTRY? LOL
The next month Taylor Swift hosted Saturday Night Live where she decided to sing her opening monologue which went a little something like this
LOL AT HER STILL MILKING THE JOE JONAS BREAKUP
And in the same month Lautner opened up about Swift in his Rolling Stone interview saying this: “I instantly clicked [with Swift.] Aside from being beautiful, she’s extremely funny, charismatic and fun to be around.”
I bet y’all are saying awww he really liked her but, let’s not forget while all this taylor squared shit was happening this was getting released the same month:
Moving on of course, the next month it was Lautner’s turn to promote on SNL and it wouldn’t be complete without any Taylor squared publicity. Let’s take a look at his monologue shall we?
HE LOOKED MORE CONVINCING PLAYING THAT GIRL THAN PLAYING TAYLOR’S BF LOL
But let’s get to the good parts of this post, that same month the Valentine’s Day trailer was released
OH GOSH THE ACTING IS SO OSCAR WORTHY IN THIS TRAILER LOL
And, 11 days later this happened:
Taylor Swift, Taylor Lautner Call It Quits!
“It wasn’t really developing into anything, and wasn’t going to, so they decided they were better as friends,” a source close to Swift, 20, tells the magazine. “There was no chemistry, and it felt contrived.”
HEY AT LEAST THEY ADMITTED THEY HAD NO CHEMISTRY
And then of course the film came out on February 12, 2010 and Lautner went to the L.A premiere:
But guess who wasn’t there? Yep you guessed it:
The film of course made millions, but it also got many bad reviews and Swift’s performance was critically panned by many film critics one even said this:
“Swift’s film debut is more torturously abrasive than her Grammy performance.”
Hey, the film may have been terrible but at least it introduced us to her horrible dancing
But of course they had to continue the charade, because the eclipse trailer dropped in March so:
Taylor Swift & Taylor Lautner: Farm Date!
Valentine’s Day co-stars Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner share a lunch date together at The Farm of Beverly Hills on Wednesday afternoon (March 24).
After lunching together, the teen idols jumped into the back seat of an SUV together and went directly to a Beverly Hills hotel. The twosome wasn’t alone though — they were accompanied by their publicists!
Just last night, Swift was seen hugging it out with Glee hunk Cory Monteith at Pinz bowling alley.
FYI: Swift is wearing head-to-toe American Eagle: crochet trim tank, braided band skirt and skinny braided lurez belt.
I just love how JustJared said they were accompanied by their publicists of course Jared of course lol
And then of course this was announced a month later:
Taylor Swift: New Album This Fall!
IS SHE DOING AN EXORCISM MOVE LOL
Taylor Swift makes her debut as the modern “flapper” in the May 2010 issue of Vogue (Sarah Jessica Parker is on the cover).
The country crooner will move into her own place in Nashville soon, have a new album by fall, and turn 21 in December. Of her new home, Taylor says, “It’s not giant. I didn’t want to have to MapQuest to get to the kitchen.”
Swift also admits, “Looking back on what these past two years have been for me, it feels like this magical dream of, Really? We toured all over the world? We played an arena in London? This is happening? Readjusting my goals and dreams has been something I’ve had to do a lot lately.”
In October she released her 2nd single from Speak Now called Back to December
And said this about the song:
Taylor Swift has elaborated on the painful feelings that went into her new song “Back to December,” long rumored to be about Taylor Lautner, whom she dated briefly at the end of last year.
“The song ‘Back to December’ is an apology in the form of a song,” the country star, 20, says in a new special, Taylor Swift: Speak Now, airing Thursday night on NBC. “You know, in life, you learn lessons. And sometimes you learn them the hard way. Sometimes you learn them too late.”
I SWEAR THIS BITCH LIES MORE THAN SHE SINGS OMFG
In conclusion, this relationship was as fake as Taylor’s new implants and goodnight everyone and sleep tight!