taylor swift and harry styles: fauxlationship #3

 

Hello bitches. It’s me yet again. I’m still here to inform you about everybody’s favorite pop princess Taylor Allison Swift. I’ve already got 2 of her fauxlationships out of the way and now here comes her best fauxlationship of all time:

taylor and harry timeline:

In March 2012 One Direction and Taylor Swift attended the kids choice awards

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WTF IS SHE DOING WITH HER LEGS LOL

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Swift was also awarded the big help award lol by michelle obama

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During that night, 1d performed while the camera kept simultaneously going to swift, selena gomez, katy perry and ashley tisdale

SERIOUSLY WHO’S PERFORMING THEM OR 1D LIKE WTF KCAS

It was later revealed that 1d and taylor met backstage where harry later revealed that he and taylor did in fact exchanged numbers and were texting:

Styles confirmed in an interview with an Australian newspaper that while they exchanged numbers and have been texting, nothing else is happening. “We met in America, she’s very nice, yes,” he told the Herald Sun. “She is very talented… She’s very nice… We’re friends.”

 

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And, Taylor’s “friend” Justin Bieber even said this:

“one of the biggest artists in the world thinks Harry is so hot, but I have been sworn to secrecy.”

HEY JUSTIN REMEMBER WHEN YOUR “FRIEND” DID THIS WHEN SELENA KISSED YOU BACKSTAGE AT THE BBAS

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SHE WANTS TO BE MILEY CYRUS SO BAD

Moving on, in late April Harry was spotted kissing model Emma Ostilly

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She and Harry 1st met when she was in the music video for 1d’s gotta be you

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She also had an army boyfriend at the time

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Emma ended up getting many death threats from 1d fans and the taylor and harry rumors abruptly stopped

In September 2012, both 1d and taylor swift attended the vmas

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WHY DOES SHE KEEP DOING THAT THING WITH HER LEGS HAHA

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1D even took home 3 vmas

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And when they won for best pop video? Guess who they showed?

They also performed at the awards show

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WHY IS SHE DRESSED LIKE WALDO LOL

1D was also interviewed by MTV News pre VMAS where they mentioned Swift:

LOUIS LOOKED SO FUCKING DONE OMFG

Note: keep in mind while this was all going on, Swift was still seeing conor kennedy

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Anyway, the next month 1d landed a cover on seventeen magazine

 

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Inside the mag, Harry named his celebrity crushes and guess who was one of his celeb crushes? Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner!

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Styles said this about Swift in the mag:

“[Taylor]’s a really lovely girl. Honestly, she couldn’t be a sweeter person. She’s a great girl and she’s extremely talented.” He went on to describe Swift as “one of those people you meet [who’s] genuinely a nice person. Some people you meet and they are not as nice as you make them out to be, but she’s one of those people who’s really just amazing”

 

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And don’t forget that while Harry was opening up about Taylor this little album was getting released:

 

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She also released a Target commercial for the album:

and guess who also did around the same time? Yep, you guessed it

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Also, as you all know Taylor is associated with Sony:

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Well, look who else is also associated with Sony:

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This also happened the same month:

Taylor Swift & Conor Kennedy Split?

 

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Taylor Swift and Conor Kennedy have reportedly gone their separate ways, Us Weekly reports.

“They quietly parted ways a while ago,” a source told the mag of the 22-year-old country singer and 18-year-old high school student’s relationship. “It was just a distance thing. No hard feelings. They’re fine.”
The two were first spotted together this past July holding hands at his family’s compound in Massachusetts.
They were last seen together in late August, leaving a private residence together.

The next month 1D fans went into panic mode when Harry said this in Cosmo U.K.:

“There’s someone I like… but this girl… isn’t my ’type.’ It’s more about the person. How they act, their body language, if they can laugh at themselves.”

And, Taylor was spotted wearing an airplane necklace identical to Harry’s

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After that, people started speculating that Harry had given his airplane necklace to Taylor even though Harry broke the necklace in an interview before Taylor was spotted wearing the necklace:

and you can get the necklace off of Etsy lol

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Later that same month, X Factor host Mario Lopez revealed that Harry attended Taylor’s performance at the show even though there were no pictures and let’s not forget that Mario worked for X-Factor which is associated with Syco Entertainment and Syco Music and 1D is a Syco artist

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And, don’t forget that this CD was coming out while all this was happening:

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The next month got even better because we got actual pics of the 2

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LOOK AT HER BUTT CRACK HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAA

 

Which is ironic because this event was happening

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During the after party of MSG we got more pics

 

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DISCOUNT DIRTY DANCING LOL

And, let’s not forget about this amazing moment at the party

LOUIS DID THE LORD A FAVOR THAT NIGHT

The next day Harry did the walk of shame

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As did Taylor

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SHE HAS ANOTHER COFFEE CUP WITH HER LOL

And, let’s not forget about this tweet a paparazzo tweeted

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2 days later, Taylor and Harry were forced I mean went to Emma Stone’s birthday party

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SUCH A HAPPY COUPLE HUH

The next day Harry did yet another walk of shame

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And of course they had to go to Z100’s Jingle Ball because they were both scheduled to perform there

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SHE REALLY NEEDS TO STOP DOING THAT WITH HER LEGS OMFG

1D was also interviewed on the red carpet about taylor and it gave us some great moments

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LOUIS HAS HAD ENOUGH OMFG

and this little gem

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Moving on, Harry was forced to stay behind and hang with Taylor

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SHE CANNOT DANCE OMFG LOL

Afterwards, Harry and Taylor took a red eye flight on Taylor’s private jet

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GEEZ I WONDER WHO CALLED THE PAPARAZZI

They later arrived in London

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We immediately get pics of them in London

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SO LOVEY DOVEY HUH

On December 13th aka Taylor’s birthday Harry pre-ordered 23 cupcakes from a local bakery even though we later got this tweet

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Moreover, Harry drove Taylor to the airport because she needed to go to Germany to promote Red

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DOESN’T THIS SETTING LOOK FAMILIAR

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But, of course they were forced I mean reunited for L.A. because 1d was going onto x factor to perform kiss you

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WHO GOES TO A TATTOO PARLOR DRESSED UP LIKE THAT

P.S. they went to the tattoo parlor at 2 in the morning

The next day they were together because of course they were but this time at taylor’s house in la with her momHarry-Styles-Leaving-Taylor-Swift-House-LA-Pictures.jpg

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WHY IS SHE DRESSING LIKE LOUIS LOL

Oh and let me just tell you that blind gossip posted an article about themtumblr_inline_mga1ssqeDI1qgq0f6.png

Why I think this blind item is about them? The title-Swift was in the film Valentine’s Day with her ex faux boyfriend Taylor Lautner, the picture in the article-Swift always makes a heart shape with her hands at a lot of her concerts, the publicity game-the hunger games Swift sang that safe and sound song for the film, never,ever-her long ass song title, and finally trouble- her song i knew you were trouble.

oh you don’t know what blind gossip is? let me just tell you.

Blind Gossip is essentially a celebrity gossip site that is run by the anonymous “Ace.” The stories featured on the sites are called “blinds,” a word derived from the term “blind item.” A blind item is defined as “a news story, usually gossip, in which the details of the matter are reported while the identities of the people involved are not revealed.” Basically, posting blind items is a way to release information about celebrities/PR stunts without the risk of lawsuits or otherbacklash because no names were used. However, there is normally a plethora of hints provided, which can usually guide the reader to make an educated guess about the subject(s).

The blinds that the site posts cover a wide range of topics (pregnancy rumors, drug addictions, and PR/closeting, to name a few) and their subjects represent a wide range of celebs (athletes, singers, actors, reality show stars, and so on). BG features two types of blinds – solved and unsolved. When posting blind items, Ace normally does so in the form of a “BG12345,” which consists of 5 blind items being presented, one per hour, beginning at a certain time that Ace will often previously announce. Some blinds never get solved (any unsolved blinds are stored in the “uncategorized” category on the site) and are left to forever be a mystery. Those that are solved, however, can be further divided into two types – those that present concrete proof and those that do not. Sometimes Ace will link a major news source reporting on the content of the blind, or present other evidence that proves the solved blind to be true. When this happens, other sources usually pick up the story and it morphs from a rumor into news. Oftentimes, Ace’s blinds are the first to hint at a scandal in a celeb’s life before it even hits the papers. But sometimes (like many of the One Direction blinds) the blind is solved with no real evidence and you have to take Ace’s word for it. Assuming Blind Gossip is truthful on matters that were never concretely proved is pure speculation, andit is crucial to always keep this in mind before one starts taking Ace’s word as gospel.

It is very important to remember that first and foremost, BG is a gossip site. Its entire point is to get hits and make money, whether that is achieved through exposing the truth or concocting/perpetuating lies. To further your understanding of this, please read the following disclaimer from the site, including crucial parts I have bolded for emphasis:

Disclaimer

1. This is a gossip site. Information published on the site – especially information republished from other sites – may be inaccurate or contain errors. BlindGossip.com makes no warranties or guarantees about the accuracy or reliability of the site’s content.

2. The materials on BlindGossip.com’s web site are provided “as is”. BlindGossip.com makes no warranties, expressed or implied, and hereby disclaims and negates all other warranties, including without limitation, implied warranties or conditions of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, or non-infringement of intellectual property or other violation of rights. Further, BlindGossip.com does not warrant or make any representations concerning the accuracy, likely results, or reliability of the use of the materials on its Internet web site or otherwise relating to such materials or on any sites linked to this site.

You see blind gossip has predicted many things such as:

Frank Ocean coming out

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Demi Lovato going back to rehab

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and Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorcing:

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They’ve even had one direction blind items:

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There have also been some speculated ones about one direction

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and ones about taylor swift

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Anyway, let’s get back to this faxulationship

Taylor and Harry later went to Utah

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DO THESE 2 EVER TAKE A BREAK FROM EACH OTHER GEEZ

Harry also cut his chin while skiing

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POOR BABY OMFG

And, then comes the haylor event of events: New Years Eve!

While Taylor was performing her horrible song during Dick Clark’s New Years Rockin Eve

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OH GOSH WTF IS SHE WEARING & HER FACIAL EXPRESSIONS LMAO

Harry went to a Coldplay concert instead of watching his beard I mean gf perform

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And then Harry and Taylor shared that awkward kiss on New Years

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HARRY GRIPPING HER ARM LIKE THAT THOUGH HAHHAHAHAAHHAHA

And then new years day we get pics of them because they’re the couple who just won’t stay away from each other

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THEY SERIOUSLY HAVE NO CHEMISTRY OMFG

And they went on vacation together in the British Virgin Islands

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And the next day, Taylor went on a boat all by herself 3vPdfYK.jpg

While Harry hung out with random people in a hot tub

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And on the January 3rd the greatest thing happened:

Taylor Swift & Harry Styles Split?

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Taylor Swift and Harry Styles have reportedly ended their short romance, according to multiple reports.
The 23-year-old country singer and the 18-year-old One Direction heartthrob were spending a post-New Year’s holiday vacation together in the British Virgin Islands when they reportedly had a big fight, which ended in Taylor leaving the topical locale a day before Harry, according to Page Six.
Taylor and Harry debuted their romance at a taping of The X Factor in November and were spotted together in Central Park in early December. They have since flown all over the world together and even shared a kiss in Times Square on New Year’s Eve.

This is how everybody acted after the “split”:

 

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And of course Taylor tweeted this:

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and while everybody thought harry would be scared and sad this was how he was acting afterward

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They also ironically “broke up” when this music video premiered:

Oh, and blind gossip solved the valentine’s day blind item

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THEY COULDN’T EVEN STAND EACH OTHER HAHHAHAHAHHAA

 

 

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and blind gossip even published this article, too

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TRY DATING STRAIGHT BOYS THEY MIGHT ACTUALLY LIKE YOU

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and the peoples choice awards were the same week and tay went and showed off her new implants

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and she won ofc ughhh and got the funniest reaction from olivia munn

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OH HOW MUCH I LOVE OLIVIA MUNN

Taylor also went to the Golden Globes that same month

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THAT DRESS DOES NOT LOOK FLATTERING ON HER LOL

During that night, Taylor lost to Adele i7vB3F4ybEFzw.gif

LOOK AT HER TRYING TO LOOK ALL MODEST LMAO

and Tina Fey and Amy Poehler joked about her love life

GO TINA AND AMY

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Afterwards Michael J. Fox dissed her too saying this:

“I don’t keep up with it all,” Fox told Vulture.com when asked at a book party about the idea of Swift dating 23-year-old Sam. “But Taylor Swift writes songs about everybody she goes out with, right?”
When the reporter answered in the affirmative, Fox replied, “What a way to build a career.”
Prodded further, Fox said, “I wouldn’t even know who she was” if she showed up at his house on his son’s arm. But he’d probably put two and two together, he added, upon the release of the inevitable breakup tune.
“‘Sam, You Piece of S–t,'” Fox joked, imagining his reaction. “‘Oh…that was the girl you brought home!'”

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GO MARTY MCFLY

Swifties later sent Michael and his wife Tracy hate and Fox was forced to apologize to Swift

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Later Taylor went to the NRJ Awards where not only was she performing, one direction were also attending

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YOU HAVE NO ASS STOP DOING THAT!Zayn+Malik+NRJ+Music+Awards+2013+Red+Carpet+t4u2yEilZ3_l.jpg

and 1d even won something while taylor won nothing

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The next month were the Grammys and Swift went because she was nominated and she was performing

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SHE LOOKS LIKE A DISCOUNT GREEK GODDESS I’M LAUGHING LOL

and she performed that stupid long titled song of hers

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WHAT KIND OF PERFORMANCE WAS THIS OMFG

and she did one of the most immature things ever

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she decided to imitate harry in one of the worst british accents since selena gomez’s in monte carlo omfg

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and after that she got made fun of by everybody in the media including joel mchale from the soup this is what he said about her:

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I LOVE U JOEL MCHALE OMFG

Taylor later appeared on the cover of Elle

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and said this about the boy crazy rumors:

“I’m sure if I looked up the latest Google Alerts rumor it would say I’m chasing somebody who doesn’t like me as much as I like him – people love that angle on me. They’re like “Oh Taylor, coming on too strong again, chasing boys. I never chase boys. They don’t like it!”

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Later on, Taylor attended the BRIT Awards where 1d was also attending

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SHE LOOKS LIKE A VAMPIRE I CAN’T HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

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She also performed one of her same old horrible songs lol

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WTF IS SHE WEARING & THAT CAMELTOE HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

The next month was the best month ever because not only did Taylor appear on the cover of Vanity Fair

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They also called her out on lying about buying a house next door to the Kennedy’s:

“According to someone close to the situation, she had been viewing the property with her parents for over a year under the recommendation of Rory Kennedy. In November 2012, the Cape Cod Times reported the house had been sold to Ocean Drive LLC for $4.8 million. The company’s filing papers name a certain ‘Jesse P. Schaudies’ of 13management — Taylor Swift’s management company. Schaudies did not return calls made to 13management’s offices, but according to the source, the Hyannis Port house was recently resold.”

She thinks people who hate on her are sexist:

“For a female to write about her feelings, and then be portrayed as some clingy, insane, desperate girlfriend in need of making you marry her and have kids with her, I think that’s taking something that potentially should be celebrated — a woman writing about her feelings in a confessional way — that’s taking it and turning it and twisting it into something that is frankly a little sexist.”

She later said that she thinks Tina and Amy should go to hell for joking about her love life:

“You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people. Because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, ‘There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’”

Amy responded with this:

“Aw, I feel bad if she was upset. I am a feminist, and she is a young and talented girl. That being said, I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff.”

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AMY POEHLER IS A CLASS ACT LADIES AND GENTS

Comedian Chelsea Handler even decided to get on the Swift roasting train and said this:

“My theory about Taylor Swift is that she’s a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she’s like, ‘I’m not gonna do it.’ And they’re like, ‘Oh, well, forget it. Then I don’t want to date you,’” Handler imagined. “Every guy thinks they’re going to devirginize her, and they’re not. She’s never going to get devirginized, ever, ever, ever, ever.”

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And, unopened fan letters addressed to Swift were found in a dumpster in Nashville

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Kylee Francescan, a Nashville native found the letters saying this:

“There were like hundreds of letters in there to Taylor Swift and I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh!’ I didn’t know if they were stolen [or] discarded, so I threw them in a box. And I’m like, ‘Somebody needs to let Taylor know.’”

SO MUCH FOR CARING ABOUT YOUR FANS HUH TAY

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The same month Taylor released her music video for 22

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WTF IS HAPPENING LOL

and people noticed the outfit she was wearing because it’s similar to what harry once wore 1360775551_taylor-swift-harry-styles-article.jpg

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Awhile later, she admitted that i knew you were trouble is about harry even though

A. She wrote that song way before she met Harry

B. The guy in the music video looks more like John Mayer than Harry

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and this too

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In August, Swift and 1d went to the vmas because they were both nominated

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SHE LOOKS LIKE A DISCOUNT MARILYN MONROE HAHAHHAHAHAHA

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They both won awards too

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WHY IS SHE HOLDING IT LIKE AN OSCAR LOL

and for her acceptance speech she said this:

SO FUCKING CLASSY

This was 1d’s reaction

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THEY WANNA KILL HER SO BAD HAHA

and while one direction was presenting an award Swift decided to say this

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AMERICA’S SWEETHEART LADIES AND GENTS

After the show, taylor and harry took an awkward group pic together

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And of course October 2014 rolled by and Swift released her 1989 album

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And basically all of her songs on the album were about Harry lol

This was probably her while she was writing the album

 

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Well, that’s the end of the long as journey through hell aka haylor! Tune in tomorrow when I talk about her fauxlationship with Matt Healy! Night bitches!ff7b62cbd04729d5e40199299d7a66dd.gif

 

 

 

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