Lorde and Diplo: Dating?

Hey everybody! I’m back with some great news today! And no, it doesn’t involve America’s Sweetheart Taylor Swift. No, it involves her faux friend Lorde. Lorde might be dating DJ Diplo. Yes, that Diplo remember the one who bad-mouthed Tay in 2014 and Lorde defended Tay oh dear haha. Let me get started on the post so that I won’t keep confusing you guys haha:

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At the Brit Awards this past Wednesday night, Lorde was spotted holding hands with Diplo while going to an after party:

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WOW LORDE SEEMS MORE COMFORTABLE WITH HIM THAN WITH TAY HAHA

But, let’s not forget that these 2 got into a twitter fight because Diplo dissed Taylor lol

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GUESS THEY KISSED AND MADE UP HUH

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Wow, 2016 keeps kicking Taylor in her nonexistent ass lol. Like 2 days ago, Kanye ranted about Tay again haha:

PREACH KANYE PREACH

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And just today, the Daily Beast published an article about Taylor being the epitome of white privilege:

Taylor Swift Is Not ‘More Influential’ Than Kanye West

The careers of Kanye West, hip-hop’s Fresh Prince of Provocation, and Taylor Swift, the “underdog” turned long-legged-clique commander, are by now inexorably linked. And in the years since that fateful evening in 2009, when the words I’mma let you finish, but… were forever immortalized in Internet lore, the two had reached a détente, culminating in Swift awarding West with the lifetime achievement award at last year’s VMAs, while poking fun at their Hennessey-induced onstage clash: “To all the other winners tonight, I’m really happy for you, and I’mma let you finish, but Kanye West has had one of the greatest careers of all time,” exclaimed Swift.

Cut to today, and the pair is once again at odds. The acrimony stems from a line on “Famous,” a track off West’s new album The Life of Pablo: “For all my Southside niggas that know me best / I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / Why? I made that bitch famous,” he raps.

West claims he not only cleared the line with Swift in advance but that she in fact conceived it, while Swift’s rep said that she did nothing of the sort, and even cautioned West about the song’s “strong misogynistic message.” Either way, it prompted Swift to fire back at West while accepting the Grammy for Album of the Year:

“As the first woman to win Album of the Year at the Grammys twice, I wanna say to all the young women out there: There are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success, or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame, but if you just focus on the work and you don’t let those people sidetrack you, someday when you get where you’re going, you’ll look around and you’ll know that it was you and the people who love you that put you there, and that will be the greatest feeling in the world.”

To add insult to injury, days later a secret recording of West ranting on the set of Saturday Night Live—which aired two days before the Grammys—leaked, with the rapper calling Swift a “fake ass” and proclaiming he was “50 percent more influential than any other human being,” including the late Stanley Kubrick, Paul the Apostle, and the Pablos, Picasso and Escobar. This prompted Nielsen Talent Analytics to release a study concluding that only 24 percent of U.S. adults consider West to be “influential” versus a whopping 55 percent for Swift.

 

According to Forbes, “Nielsen’s numbers are derived from weekly surveys of approximately 1,000 U.S. consumers who are asked their opinions on 50 personalities. These figures are also used to concoct the firm’s N-Score, a syndicated tool used to measure endorsement potential for entertainers.”

So, yes, Swift’s “endorsement potential” certainly exceeds that of West—she’s a populist white pop performer who dresses like one of the ladies from the movie Pearl Harbor, while he is a Muhammad Ali-esque system-challenging shit-stirrer in a black leather kilt who is equal parts compelling and confounding, known as much for his boastful antics as his bracing beats. But influence shouldn’t be measured in album sales or brand-friendliness, but in how an artist has affected change in the culture. And it’s here where Swift falls far short of West.

And it’s here I should also mention that I’m a fan of both West and Swift, and have attended numerous concerts by each—including a particularly amusing episode wherein my brother and I were the only twentysomethings amid a gaggle of parents and young girls during a taping of Swift’s Live on Letterman performance while promoting her album Red. But the mythos surrounding Swift, one she’s taken pains to cultivate, and which is central to her post as a role model for millions of young (mostly white) girls, has always been murky.

According to the Swift fairy tale, she is the consummate underdog, an outsider who grew up on a Christmas tree farm and was mercilessly bullied and rejected, but never gave up on her dream of music superstardom. The reality is a bit different. That Christmas tree farm Swift grew up on in Pennsylvania was actually purchased from one of Swift’s father’s clients (and the family summered at their oceanfront mansion in Stone Harbor, New Jersey). You see, Swift’s father is a very wealthy senior vice president at Merrill Lynch—and the descendant of three generations of bank presidents—while her mother worked at a mutual fund and is the daughter of a rich oilman.

When Swift was 13, her parents brought her to New York City and introduced her to manager Dan Dymtrow, who landed the singer-songwriter meetings with the top record labels, as well as a modeling gig as part of Abercrombie & Fitch’s ‘Rising Stars’ Campaign. In the photo, a tall, slender Swift is portrayed balancing an acoustic guitar with one hand and dabbing her eye with the other; it’s the birth of the Swiftian persona, the unpopular geek who deserves your sympathy… while modeling for Abercrombie & Fitch in the eighth grade.

Dymtrow landed Swift an artist development deal at RCA Records, but Swift left the label for Big Machine Records—a tiny imprint that her father helped kick-start with a six-figure investment. He then transferred to the Nashville office of Merrill Lynch, and moved the family to a lakehouse mansion in Tennessee, in order to help foster Swift’s burgeoning country music career. A then-16-year-old Swift’s self-titled debut album was released in 2006 to massive acclaim, and the rest, as they say, is history. Now, this is not to say that Swift isn’t a musical prodigy—she is, winning a talent contest to open for Charlie Daniels at 11, and taking home first prize in a national poetry contest at 12—but she is also, in many ways, the living embodiment of white privilege.

One of the standout tracks off her eponymous debut album, “Picture to Burn,” is about her freshman ex—the most popular guy in school who left her for another gal who’d later become his wife. It contains the unfortunate line, “Go and tell your friends that I’m obsessive and crazy / That’s fine / I’ll tell mine you’re gay.” Of course, she was only 16 at the time—it’s no Justin Bieber KKK anthem—and Swift has since evolved considerably on the issue, coming out in favor of marriage equality. There are other past follies, of course, from posing with a guy wearing a swastika shirt, to shooting down the question of whether she’s a feminist, to perpetuating the Madonna/Whore complex, but such peccadilloes come with growing up in the public eye.

More worrisome, then, is the way Swift approaches current issues, not by shining a light on the issue itself, but by redirecting the focus back on her. When the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage throughout the U.S., Swift rejoiced by quoting a line from her own song; in her video for “Bad Blood,” she claimed to promote “sisterhood” by assembling a squad of heavily armed A-list friends to vanquish a Katy Perry surrogate; and when Nicki Minaj criticized the VMAs for its historical bias against black artists—which has been well-documented—Swift made it all about herself, accusing Minaj of not supporting other women (reminder: Swift’s nominated video was about recruiting a group of celebrity pals to destroy Katy Perry). Recently, she donated $250,000 to Kesha—while broadcasting the act, and the dollar amount, to the public. It’s a fine gesture, of course, but also a calculated one that’s deflected attention away from Kesha’s horrifying case and toward Swift’s altruism.

Which brings us to Kanye Omari West—perhaps the only thing President Obama and Donald Trump can actually agree on.

West has done many things to earn the ire of the aforementioned pols, from his outrageous awards show antics, to slut-shaming ex Amber Rose (though not before she slut-shamed his wife), to this insane tweet that he has yet to clarify:

The awards show incidents have earned West the most criticism, and there have been many: storming out of the 2004 American Music Awards after losing Best New Artist to Gretchen Wilson, hijacking the stage at the 2006 MTV Europe Music Awards when bested by Justice vs. Simian for Best Video, the ’09 VMAs incident with Swift where he demanded justice for Beyoncé, and last year’s Grammys, where he bemoaned the fact that Beyoncé lost Album of the Year to Beck.

Here’s the thing, though: While West’s methods were questionable, they were not without purpose. West is well aware of the prejudice guiding these awards shows, particularly the VMAs and Grammys. In the case of the former, for example, of the 32 Video of the Year winners, black artists won only eight; five of the 30 winners of the lifetime achievement award have been black artists; and a black artist has never won the VMA for Best Pop Video. In 2007, the VMAs refused to let a scorching-hot West open the ceremony, opting for a years-dormant Britney Spears instead. “Maybe my skin’s not right,” West said in frustration. Maybe he had a point.

At the Grammys, 10 of the last 11 Album of the Year winners were white, while West’s magnum opus, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, failed to even be nominated in the category. Similarly, Swift has two Album of the Year wins, while Beyoncé has zero. Taylor Swift sounds like this. Beyoncé sounds like this. I mean, this is an awards body that once gave Best New Artist and Best Rap Album to Macklemore over Kendrick Lamar.

Kanye West is, at his core, about challenging systems that have been unwelcome to African Americans, whether it’s Silicon Valley or the arena of high fashion. When West is denied entry, he tends to lash out in the form of boasts, restoring his damaged ego. In some ways, he’s carrying the torch of his father, a Black Panther dedicated to fighting the power, as well as that of his mother, an English professor who was consumed by her son’s fame.

Unlike Swift, who only took stands on issues like gay marriage and feminism once the celebrity tide had already turned, West has been an important crusader for social justice.

In August 2005, while promoting his sophomore album Late Registration, West took part in an MTV special called All Eyes on Kanye West. There, he spoke out against homophobia in hip-hop, relaying a story about how his entire attitude toward the LGBT community changed when his cousin came out.

“It was kind of like a turning point when I was like, ‘Yo, this is my cousin. I love him and I’ve been discriminating against gays,’” West said. He further lamented how hip-hop is about “speaking your mind about breaking down barriers, but everyone in hip-hop discriminates against gay people.”

“Not just hip-hop, but America just discriminates. And I wanna just, to come on TV and just tell my rappers, just tell my friends, ‘Yo, stop it.’”
Again, this was in 2005—before even Hillary Clinton was turned around on gay rights. (West later became an important voice for trans acceptance, too, helping wife Kim Kardashian come to terms with her stepfather Bruce Jenner’s transition to Caitlyn.) One month later, on Sept. 2, 2005, during the NBC charity special A Concert for Hurricane Relief, West condemned the media for the way they were portraying the black victims of Hurricane Katrina.

“I hate the way they portray us in the media,” he said. “You see a black family, it says, ‘They’re looting.’ You see a white family, it says, ‘They’re looking for food.’ And, you know, it’s been five days [waiting for federal aid] because most of the people are black. And even for me to complain about it, I would be a hypocrite because I’ve tried to turn away from the TV because it’s too hard to watch. I’ve even been shopping before even giving a donation, so now I’m calling my business manager right now to see what is the biggest amount I can give, and just to imagine if I was down there, and those are my people down there. So anybody out there that wants to do anything that we can help—with the way America is set up to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off, as slow as possible. I mean, the Red Cross is doing everything they can. We already realize a lot of people that could help are at war right now, fighting another way—and they’ve given them permission to go down and shoot us!”

And then, the kicker: “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.”

George W. Bush later called the moment an “all-time low” in his presidency—which ultimately said more about him than West, that being insulted over his handling of Hurricane Katrina was worse than the people’s misery, or the devastation caused by the War in Iraq, or the millions of lives ruined by torpedoing the economy.

Kanye’s Katrina moment also came just as YouTube and Facebook began to catch on and, according to The Nation’s Mychal Denzel Smith, served as an eye-opening one for a generation of Americans:

“With these new technological possibilities, and the most succinct political statement of the year, West was able to further ingratiate himself with a generation of young people who already loved his music, but who now had, in him, our first relatable expression of black rage on a national stage.”

PROPS TO MARLOW STERN WHO WROTE THIS ARTICLE YOU’RE THE REAL MVP

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Also, lol at Tay trying to do damage control for everything Kanye and Demi has been saying about her haha:

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HER FACE WOULD LITERALLY FREAK ME OUT DURING FACETIME OMFG

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That’s it for the Lorde and Diplo post. Like Tay, I thought you and Lorde were best friends. What happened? Oh wait. You guys were never friends. I forgot.

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Bye bitches! I’ll be back when Tay does or says something stupid or shady!

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The truth behind Tay’s and Lena’s recent hangout

Good morning, bitches. Rise and shine for a new day and a new post about America’s Sweetheart Taylor Swift. The reason I’m posting today is because, Tay was just spotted with faux DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend) Lena Dunham and I’m about to tell you the truth behind their recent hangout. Let’s get this party started shall we:

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On February 21, Taylor and Lena were spotted hanging out in New York together for the 1st time in 2016 (wow I thought they were “besties” lol)

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LOVE HOW LENA KEEPS LOOKING AT THE CAMERAS! AND LENA, THAT COAT MAKES YOU LOOK FATTER THAN YOU ALREADY ARE

Oh, how ironic that they hungout the same night this little show came back for it’s 5th season premiere:

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That’s it for the Lena and Taylor chronicles (for now lol). Also, where was Lena at the Grammys like her BF Jack Antonoff went. Why didn’t she go? Is it because she wanted her photo op with Tay to happen closer to the premiere date of her show?

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P.S. I’m glad Demi said all of that shit about her and Taylor only donated all of that money to Kesha, because she’s trying to do damage control for all those things Kanye’s been saying about her stupid nonexistent ass. That’s also why she released New Romantics as her next single.

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Bye guys and once again, thank you guys for making my stats go up and following me on tumblr! You guys are the best and plus I’ll never throw your fanmail haha. Bye!

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Taylor’s Wedding Drama

Hey bitches! Guess who’s back to inform you about everyone’s fav pop princess Taylor Swift? Yep, that’s right: me! And today, I’m gonna talk about how she went to her childhood friend’s wedding to make it all about herself I mean to be her bridesmaid at her wedding instead of going to her faux friend’s Hayley Williams’s wedding, let’s get this started shall we:

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Over the weekend, Taylor attended the wedding of her childhood friend Britany Maack (what kind of name lol)

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LOVE HOW SHE’S TRYING TO MAKE IT ALL ABOUT HER IN THE 3RD PIC

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It’s also funny how Taylor didn’t bring her faux BF Calvin Harris to the wedding. Oh wait. I forgot. They’re not really together.

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Moving on, during that same weekend, Tay’s other faux friend Paramore’s Hayley Williams also got married to Chad Gilbert:

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NO SIGN OF TAY AT THIS WEDDING, HECK SHE HASN’T EVEN TWEETED NOR INSTAGRAMMED A SWEET MESSAGE FOR HER FAUX FRIEND. SUCH GOOD FRIENDS HUH, HAYLEY?

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That’s the end of this post, bitches. I’ll be keeping my eye on Tay if she does anything shady or stupid. BTW, I’m glad that Kanye is saying all that shit about her, she deserves it. Also, I love how she released New Romantics as the next single, because she ripped off Lana for that song, too. And, I’d also like to thank you guys for following me on tumblr and making my stats go up, you’re the best. Bye bitches and I’ll be back soon! 

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The Grammys Post

Guess who’s back? Back again. Sassy’s back. Tell a friend. I’m finally back with a new post about Pop Princess Taylor Swift and I’m here to talk about the Grammys. I’m gonna recap everything to what Tay wore to who she brought and to how she performed (Spoiler alert: She was terrible. No surprise there.) Let’s get it started shall we:

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Before the Grammys:

Tay filmed a video of her faux friend Selena Gomez looking all fake happy for her when she won the Grammy for Bad Blood oh dear:

HAHA AT SELENA BEING FAKE HAPPY FOR TAYLOR AND DID SELENA GET BOTOX AGAIN

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Also, fuck the Grammys for choosing Taylor over Kelly Clarkson & Kendrick Lamar:

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The Grammys Red Carpet:

Taylor brought Selena instead of the rest of her faux friends and her faux BF Calvin haha

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TAYLOR LOOKS SO UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND SELENA IN THESE PICS LMFAO

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Also, Taylor looks like the trashy slutty version of Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie:

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TAY, YOU’RE LOSING ORIGINAL POINTS BY THE MINUTE

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Her opening performance:

Taylor opened the show with her song Out of the Woods:

BITCH, QUIT DANCING LIKE YOU’RE IN THE EXORCISM AND LIP SYNC BETTER!

My review of the performance: First things first, Tay you really need to stop with the over performing, like it just makes your dancing and singing even worst than it is. 2nd, you need better lip sync lessons. How did you not learn from your lip syncing at the 2014 AMAS? Lip sync better girl. That’s the only thing you’re great at. Last thing: Dress better. Like, your outfit looks like something 1987 Madonna would wear. Dress better.

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LIKE WHAT THE HELL IS SHE WEARING LOL

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The grade I would give her performance is an:

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Supposedly, Taylor even found her performance as terrible as I did because she was crying afterwards haha:

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Moving onto the rest of the show:

When her faux friend Ed Sheeran beat her at the Grammys, Tay tried to be all fake excited for him haha:

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and then Taylor won for album of the year really Grammys really:

I’D LIKE TO THANK LANA DEL REY FOR LETTING ME RIP OFF A LOT OF HER SONGS FOR MY ALBUM! YOU’RE A BETTER SONGWRITER THAN ME!

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I also loved how she thanked her fans, you know the same fans whose fan mail she threw away in Nashville

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But, the best part of the speech was Earth, Wind & Fire looking pissed off behind her

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OH AND TORI KELLY’S FACE TOO

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IN THAT MOMENT, I SWEAR WE WERE ALL TORI KELLY

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The after party:

Taylor went to the after party with her faux BF Calvin and her faux friends Lorde, Camila Cabello and Ellie Goulding:

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LOVE HOW CALVIN IS WALKING BEHIND TAYLOR & HER FAUX FRIENDS HAHA

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Funny how Camila hungout with Tay before this single was released:

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Ironic how Lorde hungout with the bitch before her tribute to David Bowie at the Brit Awards:

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Also, it’s hilarious how Ellie hungout with the cunt before her music video dropped:

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Oh and let me tell you something about Taylor & Ellie’s “friendship”:

As you all know Tay is a part of Big Machine Records which is distributed by Universal Music Group:

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Well, look what I found out about Ellie!

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Moving on, Taylor also took a picture with Big Machine’s Scott Borchetta and CEO of Republic Records Monte Lipman.

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LOVE HOW SHE LOOKS MORE COMFORTABLE WITH THEM THAN  WITH CALVIN HAHA

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And, where is Selena? Did she and Tay ditch each other after the Grammys or something?

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Also, I love how all of the media outlets are claiming that Calvin is happy for Taylor’s win, but he doesn’t seem like it in any of these pics. Also, I love how only a few of Tay’s faux friends went with her to this event. I mean no Karlie, no Martha, no Lily or even Serayah. Guess none of them wanted to be seen in public with her.

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That’s it for the Taylor Grammys post. Sadly, I’m gonna be taking a short break for awhile until Tay does something. But, Coachella is in 2 months and Calvin is gonna need Taylor more than ever and so I’m gonna report on that in April. In the meantime, bye bitches!

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Taylor Swift & Emma Stone: Faux friendship #19

Hey guys. I’m back to talk about Taylor Swift’s faux friends again. I know I said I was done but I decided to talk about another of her faux friends: Oscar nominee Emma Stone. Let’s get this party started shall we:

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Emma & Taylor timeline:

Taylor and Emma 1st met at a Hollywood Life Mag party back in 2008

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WOW TAYLOR’S MAKEUP EVEN LOOKS TERRIBLE HERE

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Tay & Em didn’t hangout again until December 2009 (wow they didn’t hangout for a year & a half haha)

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LOVE HOW TAY IS LOOKING AT THE PAPS IN THE 3RD PIC HAHA

Funny how this photo op happened before the Marmaduke teaser trailer came out:

OH DEAR REMEMBER WHEN EMMA DID THIS FILM LMFAO

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and before Taylor dropped Fearless as her next single the next month:

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In April 2010, Emma name dropped Taylor haha

“She’s so great! We’re very different, but she has such a sick sense of humor. Nobody knows that. She’s so great. People know … how hilarious she is. They’ve seen her on SNL. People are seeing it more now, and she’s so funny and she’s exactly who you think she is, and I love that.”

Emma also dished on how the two first met — Taylor turned Emma into a fan! “We met at the Young Hollywood Awards for Hollywood Life magazine. We met there three years ago, and then I listened to some of her music, and I wrote her an e-mail saying I liked her music, I swear. And then we started talking and hanging out.”

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Ironic how Emma name dropped her before the Paper Man trailer debuted:

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In September 2010, Taylor attended the Easy A premiere. BTW the 2 haven’t hungout since December 2009 haha

 

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WTF IS TAYLOR DOING WITH HER FEET IN THE 3RD PIC HAHA

Oh and I need to tell you guys something else: Easy A is a Screen Gems film and it’s associated with Sony Pictures Entertainment and guess who else is a part of Sony?

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Then in October 2010, Taylor & her faux BF Jake Gyllenhaal reportedly went to Emma’s Saturday Night Live show lol:

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Moving on, in February 2011 Tay and Em were spotted together at an event in L.A.

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TAY IS BARELY SMILING WITH EMMA LOL

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BTW, this hangout happened before the Friends with Benefits trailer came out:

Emma’s Glamour mag cover also dropped around the same time:

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and before Taylor dropped her next single from Speak Now titled Mean:

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2 months later, Emma and Taylor were spotted hanging out in Beverly Hills

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EMMA LOOKS SO HAPPY HAHA

Funny how this photo op happened before the Crazy Stupid Love trailer dropped:

Also, Tay dropped The Story of Us around the same time:

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In August 2011, Emma was forced to give Taylor the Ultimate Choice Award at the Teen Choice Awards oh dear haha:

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In July 2012, Emma had Taylor say nice things about her in British Vogue lol:

“I admire how original [Emma] is, just being who she is. She doesn’t do anything to be different from everyone else on the planet. Somehow she just is.”

 

 

ALL OF THEIR QUOTES ARE LITERALLY THE SAME THING OMFG LOL

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BTW, this happened before Emma’s Gangster Squad poster came out:

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In October 2012, Emma and Taylor were spotted hanging out in Paris:

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BTW PAPARAZZI IS ILLEGAL IN FRANCE

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Ironic how this photo op happened before the Movie 43 trailer debuted:

THIS MOVIE LOOKS SO FUCKING AWFUL OMFG

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In December 2012, Tay was forced to take her faux BF Harry Styles to Emma’s birthday party in NYC:

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POOR HARRY OMFG

Funny how this birthday party happened before Gangster Squad came out a month later:

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In July 2014 (wow they didn’t hangout for a full year haha) Emma took her faux BF Andrew Garfield to Tay’s 4th of July party with all of her other faux friends haha:

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ANDREW LOOKS SO HAPPY TO BE THERE HAHA

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Funny how this 4th of July party happened before Magic in the Moonlight came out:

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In December 2014, Taylor went to Emma’s Cabaret show:

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WTF R THESE BITCHES WEARING HAHA

Funny, how Tay went to the Cabaret show before the Aloha Trailer came out 2 months later

BTW THIS IS THE FILM WHERE EMMA A WHITE WOMAN PORTRAYED AN ASIAN WOMAN

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Taylor and Emma haven’t been seen together since December 2014. I doubt that Taylor’s even gonna bring Emma to the Grammys tomorrow night. Plus, Tay didn’t even ask Emma to be in the Bad Blood video with her. So, I guess that they’re not friends anymore. Oh wait. I forgot. They were never friends from the start. Oops.

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Guys, I’m finally done with all of Tay’s faux friends. It’s a miracle. And, just like I promised. I’m gonna report on everything Grammys on Tuesday. From what hideous dress Tay is wearing to her awkward “sexy” pose she’s gonna make on the red carpet to who she brings and to her terrible performance. Bye bitches! See you guys on Tuesday!

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Taylor Swift and Camila Cabello: Faux Friendship #18

Hey guys! So sorry about the delay on the Camila post, I’ve been so busy with school ughhhh. But, I’m finally back with another post about America’s Sweetheart Taylor Swift’s faux friendships and today I’m gonna dive into her faux friendship with 5th Harmony terrible singer and racist bitch, Camilla Cabello:

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Taylor and Camila timeline:

In August 2014, Camila and Taylor 1st met at the 2014 VMAS

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CAMILA LOOKS LIKE SUCH A HOT FUCKING MESS HAHA

In March 2015, Tay attended Camila’s birthday for some odd reason lol

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WHY TF WAS A 25 YEAR OLD WOMAN HANGING OUT WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD LOL

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Funny how this birthday party happened while 5TH Harmony was releasing Worth It:

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Later on in March, Taylor and Camila were seen everywhere together:

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CAMILA’S FACE LMFAO

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Funny how these photo ops happened before 5TH Harmony performed at the White House

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In June 2015, Camila “praised” Taylor for the stupid Apple music thing:

“came to the conclusion that @taylorswift13 should be president of everything. just shaped history for so many future artists. you inspire me,” she tweeted.

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BTW, this tweet happened 2 days before 5th Harmony’s Candies Ad debuted

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WHY TF IS CAMILA WEARING CAT EARS HAHA

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In August 2015, Tay invited 5TH Harmony to sing with her during one of her 1989 shows (BTW, Camila and Taylor haven’t hungout for 5 months prior to this event haha)

TAYLOR QUIT EMBARRASSING YOURSELF HAHA

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Ironic how this event happened before 5th Harmony dropped their Candies music video:

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In January 2016 (wow they haven’t hungout in 5 months what kind of “friendship” lol) Camila & Taylor got together with Sereyah:

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FAMEWHORES UNITE

Just like I said in the other posts, Camila was only hanging out with Tay so that people would forget about those racist messages that got leaked:

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and the 5th Harmony 17 magazine cover came out a month later:

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Camila and Tay haven’t been seen together since last month. Let’s see if Camila begs Taylor to bring her to the Grammys. Like can y’all imagine that scenario lmfao

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That’s it for Tay’s faux friends post. Wow these “friendships” lasted longer than her fauxlautionships haha. The next post will be all about the Grammys and Tay is opening the show with one of her horrible songs so, that’ll be interesting haha. And, like I said before I’ll be keeping an eye on her if she brings her faux friends or her faux BF. Goodbye bitches! See you all Tuesday!

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Taylor Swift & Haim: Faux Friendship #17

Morning bitches! It’s time to get up so that you can read my latest post about Pop Princess Taylor Swift. And, today in her faux friendship fairytale adventures, I’m gonna talk about her “friendship” with girl-band Haim.

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Taylor & Haim timeline:

In December 2014, Haim was spotted at Taylor’s birthday party with all of her other faux friends:

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THIS LOOKS LIKE THE WORST BIRTHDAY PARTY EVER

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The next month, the band hungout with Tay, her dad and her other faux friends:

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WHO TF WOULD WANT TO HANGOUT WITH TAYLOR’S DAD LIKE SERIOUSLY

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That same month, Haim hungout with Tay yet again and with her other faux friends:

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HAIM LOOKS SO HAPPY TO BE THERE LOL

Later on, Tay took a vacation with Haim lol

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WHY DOES TAYLOR ALWAYS WEAR SUCH UGLY SWIMSUITS HAHA

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Moving on, Haim and Tay were then later seen getting off of Tay’s private jet lol:

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WHO KEEPS CALLING THE PAPARAZZI LIKE OMFG THIS IS STARTING TO GET CREEPY

Moreover, more vacations pictures came out ugghhhhh:

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TAY WHO ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? THE CAMERAS? HAHA

BTW, all of these photo ops happened before this was announced:

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That same month were the Grammys and Haim and Taylor went because they were both nominated:

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LOVE HOW HAIM IS MORE INTERESTED IN THE CAMERAS THAN TAY LOL

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Funny how all of these hangouts happened before Haim released their new music video for the song Pray To God featuring Taylor’s faux boyfriend Calvin Harris:

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The next month, Haim & Taylor attended Tay’s faux friend Camila’s birthday party:

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SO MUCH FAKE HAPPINESS IN ONE PIC LOL

Funny how this birthday party happened before Haim released their song from the Insurgent soundtrack titled Holes in the Sky featuring M83:

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Later on in March, Haim hungout with Tay and her other “besties”:

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HAIM & ELLIE LOOK SO DONE IN THIS PIC LOL

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The next month, Haim was seen with Tay and her other faux friends once again lol:

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WHY ARE SOME OF THEM DOING DUCK LIPS LIKE NO STOP IT

The next month, Haim and Tay went to go “support” Tay’s fake BF at Wango Tango:

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TAY LOOKS HIGH IN SOME OF THESE PICS LMFAO

In June 2015, Haim was forced to go to Jaime’s baby shower with Taylor

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THEY ALL LOOK DRUNK IN THESE PICTURES ROFL

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In July, Haim went to Tay’s 4th of July party with the rest of her faux friends haha

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2 OUT OF 3 OF HAIM ARE BARELY JUMPING LOL

2 months later, Haim performed with Tay and Nelly lol:

BITCHES STOP DANCING ESPECIALLY YOU TAYLOR I DON’T HAVE AN ASS SWIFT

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Haim and Taylor haven’t been seen together since September 2015 because as we all know they were never real friends from the start, they were just tour mates lol. Heck, she didn’t even invite them to be in the Bad Blood video, so this “friendship” wasn’t serious to Tay, either.

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That’s it for Tay’s faux friendship with Haim. Tomorrow, I’m gonna dive into Taylor’s friendship with 5th Harmony’s resident racist and terrible singer Camila Cabello. Bye guys and be prepared for tomorrow’s post.

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Taylor Swift and Jaime King: Faux friendship #16

Hey guys. I’m finally back with a new post about Taylor Swift’s faux friendships and today in Queen Tay’s faux friendship tales, I’m gonna talk about her faux friendship with Hart of Dixie famewhore Jaime King:

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Taylor and Jaime timeline:

Tay & Jai were first spotted together at a Golden Globes after party in January 2014 with Tay’s fellow faux friend Hailee Steinfeld:

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TAY QUIT DANCING LIKE A DRUNK GIRAFFE!

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After the party, the 2 were spotted hanging out in Beverly Hills that same month:

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LOVE HOW JAIME KEEPS LOOKING AT THE CAMERAS LOL

Love how this photo op happened before Jaime released a new Hart of Dixie promo the next month:

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2 months later, (wow they didn’t hangout for a full month lol) Jaime and Tay hungout with Oscar winner Meryl Streep:

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POOR MERYL SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE WANTS TO GET TF OUTTA THERE

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Then, Tay & Jai hungout again at an Oscars after party:

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TAY QUIT POSING LIKE U HAVE AN ASS BITCH OMFG

BTW, all of these hangouts happened before this show came back:

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In July 2014, (Wow they didn’t hangout for 4 months wow such great “Friends”) Jaime went to Tay’s 4th of July party with Tay’s fellow faux friends andrew-garfield-emma-stone-taylor-swift-boat-ride.jpg

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TAY LOOKS LIKE SHE’S CRYING INTO THAT TURTLE’S BACK LOL

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BTW, this 4th of July party happened before Jaime teased her husband’s Kyle Newman film Barely Lethal on her Instagram:

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The next month, Jaime did the ice bucket challenge with Taylor and her other faux friends

BITCHES CALM DOWN LIKE GEEZ

Funny how this ice bucket challenge happened before Jaime’s Vegas mag came out:

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WHY DO ALL OF THESE BITCHES LIKE TO POSE LIKE FLAMINGOES LOL

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In October 2014, Jaime name dropped Taylor lol:

“Taylor is just one of my closest, closest friends, one of my dear, dear friends,” she told E! News. “We just met and instantly had a connection.”

Jaime continued to say: “Taylor has always had a pop element to her country, which is why she has been so successful and this new album is so unbelievable, like literally mind-blowingly amazing. The first time I heard some of the songs, they all like stuck in my head. I was like crying because I was like, ‘Oh my God, this is insane.”

 

 

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Ironic how after after she name dropped her, the Hart of Dixie s4 trailer debuted the next month:

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The next month, Jai attended Tay’s birthday party along with her other faux friends:

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WTF IS JAIME WEARING ON HER HEAD LOL

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BTW, this birthday party happened before Jaime released her video from Love Mag:

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In January-February 2015, Taylor and Jaime were seen everywhere together:

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JAIME, YOUR BOTOX IS SHOWING!

Ironic how all of this was happening while Tay released the video for Style directed by Jaime’s husband Kyle:

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In March 2015, it was announced that Taylor would the godmother of Jaime’s unborn child:

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WOW JAIME USING YOUR BABY FOR PUBLICITY SMH

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That same month Jaime continued to leech onto Taylor:

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BTW, all of this happened before it was announced that Jaime’s show Hart of Dixie might be getting cancelled:

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Later on in March, Jaime talked about Taylor being the godmother of her child lol:

“There was no thought behind it at all other than that I always knew she was going to be the godmother if I had another baby. It’s because she’s incredibly thoughtful. Choosing a godmother is a very sacred and important thing in our family. They’re going to be guiding your child, and they’re responsible for them if something was to ever happen,” the 35-year-old actress said. “We try and choose people who we know would raise our child the way that we would raise our child and her thoughtfulness, her kindness, her authenticity—the way that she’s generous with her family, with her friends, with her fans—is so powerful to me. She’s so uninhibited in her giving—the presents she gives to her fans, she wraps every single one, she paints the stuff. It’s all her. It’s just beyond. She’s so clear with what it is that she wants to do yet at the same time she leaves herself so vulnerable. It is really powerful to me. That’s why I feel like she’s going to be the perfect godmother.”

Jaime also opened up about asking Taylor to be the godmother. “We were hanging out on the couch and I was like, ‘Hey, would ever want to be a godmother?’ And she was like, ‘Uh, yes!’ And she cried and, you know, all the fun things that best friends do.”

 

 

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In April 2015, Jaime was seen going to a Haim concert along with Tay and her faux BF Calvin haha:

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THEY WEREN’T EVEN SEEN GOING TOGETHER DID JAIME STALK TAYLOR THERE LOL

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That same month, Jaime tweeted this about the 1989 tour:

“U mean THE BEST tour of 2015? Yes ‘@Alexawinkler2: @Jaime_King hi Jamie I love you so much are you going to see Taylor on the 1989 tour?’” Jaime recently tweeted.

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Later on in April, Jaime “approved” of Calvin haha:

“He’s a wonderful man,” Jaime told E! News. “He’s a beautiful man.”

 

 

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Ironic how all of these photo ops and name dropping happened before the Barely Lethal trailer came out:

THIS FILM LOOKS SO TERRIBLE LMFAO

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In May 2015, Tay & Jai were spotted taking 2 separate flights through LAX:

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JAIME, JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE PREGNANT, DOESN’T MEAN U CAN DRESS LIKE A HOBO

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Towards the end of May, Jaime Instagramed an “inspirational” quote Taylor said haha:

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Funny how this Instagram post happened before Hart of Dixie got cancelled lol

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THIS WAS PROBABLY JAIME WHEN THIS HAPPENED LOL

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Moving on in June 2015, Taylor threw Jaime a baby shower lol:

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THAT LOOKS LIKE THE WORST BABY SHOWER EVER LOL

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Ironic how this baby shower happened before Jaime talked about her pregnancy with Yahoo Style lol:

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In July 2015, Jaime had Taylor introduce the world to her baby like anybody gave a fuck:

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Later on in July, Taylor and Jaime did a photo op together just so Jaime could show off her post baby body lol:

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WHY SO SAD JAIME? DID U NOT GET THE PUBLICITY U WANTED FOR YOUR 2ND BABY?

In August 2015, Taylor dedicated Never Grow Up to her “godson” lol:

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BTW, all of this happened before Jaime partnered up with Ellen DeGeneres for Hey World:

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That same month, Jaime went to Taylor’s L.A. concert:

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LOVE HOW SHE ALWAYS LOOKS AT THE CAMERAS LOL

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BTW, this concert happened before Jaime announced she was launching a jewelry collection lol:

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In December 2015, Jaime wrote a “heartfelt” birthday message to Taylor:

“Dear Tay- Tomorrow is your birthday and I will be in the air. This picture I took of you brings back the fondest of memories. It captures all of your beauty that I know, that the world knows, in one photograph. You have the uncanny ability to just get straight into the Soul’s of us all in one shot. With your music, you grab the hearts of countless hearts & don’t let go. As my sister, with your irresistible enthusiasm, un-f*cking unbeatable passion and true honesty, feels like home. To have changed the perception of female friendships (even in the smallest way) because somehow, in this crazy world where women want to hurt each other, we have a thoughtful group of friends where we have chosen to love each other through it all, and support our peers along the way & with open arms you bring this to life. Intimately and sincerely, I love you, I am profoundly proud of you, your Light is a rare and brilliant gift. Happy Birthday!!! (Your always sensitive, expository and teary eyed friend;) xo Jaime”

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Funny, how this birthday message happened before Jaime lip-synced Bad Blood with Olivia Munn on Lip Sync Battle:

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Later on in January, Jaime hungout with Taylor:

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THAT BABY LOOKS SO FUCKING SCARED LOL

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BTW, this hangout happened before Jaime launched her new children’s clothing line:

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Taylor and Jaime haven’t been seen together since last month. Let’s see if they manage to hangout together at a Grammys after party or something like that. Like, Jaime’s unemployed so she has time for all that shit.

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Well, that’s it for Taylor’s and Jaime’s faux friendship. Tomorrow, the Haim post is coming and it’s gonna be better than any song Tay has ever written. BTW, The Grammys are coming up and I’m gonna post a lot about that event from what hideous dress Tay is wearing to whether she brought her faux friends or her fake BF Calvin. Bye bitches!

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The truth behind Tay’s recent hangout with Gigi

Hey bitches! So sorry that I’m late again, school has been eating up my blogging life ew. BTW, the Jaime post is coming today or tomorrow. But, probably tomorrow because I have a Biology test I have to study for ew. But, I have time to talk about Taylor’s latest hangout with her other faux friend Gigi Hadid:

Yesterday, Tay was spotted hanging out with her faux friend Gigi again ughhh:

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I LOVE HOW GIGI & TAY ARE WALKING 50 FT FROM EACH OTHER & GIGI IS MORE INTERESTED IN HER PHONE THAN TALKING TO TAYLOR

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Later that night (wow they got their nails done for 70 hours straight lol) Gigi left the nail salon without Taylor haha

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It’s funny how this photo op happened before Gigi’s Vogue Paris cover came out:

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PHOTOSHOP DOES NOT LOOK GOOD ON YOU GIGI

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Oh, and let’s not forget what else is coming later this month

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Let’s see if Tay walks the red carpet solo, with her faux besties or her faux BF Calvin.

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That’s it for Taylor and Gigi’s hangouts (For now). Tomorrow, the Jaime King post is coming I promise you guys. See you guys, tomorrow!

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Taylor Swift and Sam Smith: Faux friendship #15

Hello bitches. I’m back with another post about Queen Taylor Swift’s faux friendships and today, I’m gonna talk about her faux friendship with Stay With Me lead singer Sam Smith, let’s get this party started:

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Taylor and Sam timeline:

In February 2014, Taylor invited Sam to sing with her onstage during one of her Red shows:

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TAY, YOUR CAMELTOE IS STILL SHOWING!

It’s funny how this concert happened before Sam dropped the video for Leave Your Lover:

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In November 2014 (wow they haven’t hungout in 9 months lol) Tay & Sam were spotted hanging out together at the 2014 American Music Awards:

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SAM’S FAKE SMILE THOUGH LOL

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BTW, they hungout before the 2015 Grammy nominations came out and look who was nominated:

Record of the Year:
Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX, “Fancy”
Sia, “Chandelier”
Sam Smith, “Stay With Me (Darkchild Version)”
Taylor Swift, “Shake It Off”
Meghan Trainor, “All About That Bass”

Best New Artist
Bastille
Iggy Azalea
Brandy Clark
HAIM
Sam Smith

Song of the Year
Meghan Trainor – “All About That Bass”
Sia – “Chandelier”
Taylor Swift – “Shake It Off”
Sam Smith – “Stay With Me (Darkchild Version)”
Hozier – “Take Me to Church”

Best Pop Vocal Album
Coldplay, Ghost Stories
Miley Cyrus, Bangerz
Ariana Grande, My Everything
Katy Perry, Prism
Ed Sheeran, x
Sam Smith, In the Lonely Hour

Best Pop Solo Performance
John Legend, “All of Me (Live Version)”
Sia, “Chandelier”
Sam Smith, “Stay With Me”
Taylor Swift, “Shake It Off”
Pharrell Williams, “Happy”

 

 

THEY WERE UP AGAINST IN EACH OTHER IN ALMOST EVERY CATEGORY THOUGH

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The next month, Sam was paid to go to Taylor’s birthday party with all of her other faux friends:

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SAM LOOKS LIKE HE WANTS TO GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE OMG LOL

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It’s funny that this birthday party happened before Sam’s V mag cover came out:

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SAM, YOU’RE NOT SEXY! STOP IT!

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That same month, Sam name dropped Taylor because the Grammys were next month:

“Taylor Swift is amazing. I sang with her in London once but didn’t get to properly chill with her. Then, at the American Music Awards, I got to sit down with her and chat. She’s a role model. I really respect her. And she manages to sell a lot of records and make a lot of people happy financially, but also to keep that soulfulness, that honesty.”

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And also, his Rolling Stone cover came out:

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and his Lay Me Down music video dropped:

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In February 2o15, Sam & Tay hungout during Grammys night:

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TAYLOR TOTALLY WANTS TO STEAL SAM’S GRAMMY LOL

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That same month, Taylor and Sam hungout with Kanye West and Kim Kardashian during the BRIT Awards:

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SO MUCH AWKWARDNESS IN ONE PIC WHO KNEW

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How how ironic that all these awards shows happened before Sam released the Lay Me Down version with John Legend:

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In May 2015, Sam won a Billboard Music Award and name dropped Tay in his speech oh dear lol:

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BTW, this acceptance speech happened before Sam was announced as the face of Balenciaga:

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I also found out some info about Sam & Tay’s “friendship”:

As you all may not know, Sam is with Capitol Records who’s parent company is Universal Music Group:

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Well, look what I found out about Tay:

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Sam and Taylor haven’t been seen together since February 2015. Let’s see if they manage to hangout at the Grammys this month just like they did last year. Or not because you know they’re faux friends and whatnot lol

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Well, that’s it for Tay & Sam’s faux friendship tales (for now I guess). Tomorrow, I’m gonna dive into her faux friendship with Hart of Dixie actress and fellow famewhore Jaime King. Bye bitches!

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