The stupid bitch plays 3rd wheel to the PR couple

Hello, hello, hello!!! I’m back to inform you about the dramatic adventures of Taylor Alison Swift! Today in her stupid bitch fairytale adventures, I’m gonna talk about her hanging out with her faux friend Gigi Hadid and Gigi’s beard Zayn Malik (wtf that sounds like a nightmare lol.) Also, I’m gonna talk about the truth behind it all. Let’s get this awkward “date” party started:

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Just last night, the paps spotted Tay on an awkward 3rd wheeling “date” with Gigi & Zayn:

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IDK WHAT’S MORE AWKWARD ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING: ZAYN AND GIGI’S NONEXISTENT CHEMISTRY OR ZAYN AND TAYLOR ACTUALLY HANGING OUT TOGETHER

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Now let me tell you the real reason this photo op happened:

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If you didn’t realize already, Taylor is wearing a dress from Tommy Hilfiger’s line which Gigi promoted at New York Fashion Week:

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Moreover, how ironic that Gigi had this photo op hangout before this came out:

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Also, it’s funny how Zayn is hanging out with his beard and Tay after this was announced:

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and this:

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That’s it for the awkward 3rd wheel post. Oh gosh, Zayn has stooped to so many lows in the past year and also this year, too. Also, if he cancelled so many shows in Dubai, because of said, “anxiety” issues, why did he go to NYFW where there are not only a lot of people, but also a lot of cameras? Like, nothing is adding up about Zayn anymore. Did his management make him cancel those shows, because he was forced to go to NYFW to promote his faux GF’s line? I think you all know the answer lol. But, oh gosh Zayn, Gigi and Taylor all hanging out together like how could people not think this is all staged and fake to the max like I swear Disney Channel and Nickelodeon shows have better acting than these bitches lol. But, what’s next on Tay’s damage control tour? Will she support her faux friend Selena in rehab? Will she put on a concert for Hillary Clinton? What’s next, bitch? Bye now everyone and just remember: Nothing in Hollyweird is real.

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Tay and Lily finally hangout after not hanging out for 4-5 MONTHS, Tay does damage control after the contract ends and Tay makes NYFW all about herself

Hey, hey, hey! It’s Natalie and I’m back with more news about everyone’s favorite drama queen Taylor Alison Swift! I’m gonna talk about how she finally hangs out with resident famewhore Lily Aldridge after they haven’t even seen each other in 4-5 MONTHS. I’m also gonna talk about how she’s doing damage control after her embarrassing fauxlationship ended and she goes to New York Fashion Week to do what else? Make the event all about her! Let me tell you everything:

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After not seeing each other in a while, Taylor and Lily finally hangout together:

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WTF IS LILY WEARING AND WHY DOESN’T SHE LOOK HAPPY TO BE WITH GRAMMY WINNER TAYLOR SWIFT

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Also, why does Tay still think that overbite look is sexy? Bitch, you look like a rabid squirrel that’s looking for a nut to eat!

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Also, it’s funny how Lily is finally hanging out with Taylor after this came out:

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Moving onto her damage control tour lol:

Tay did some damage control this week after the contract expired oh gosh:

The 26-year-old singer recently granted the wish of Meghan Hils – an 18-year-old who is dying from a congenital heart defect – by calling her via FaceTime for about half an hour.

Meghan‘s father, Dan, a Cincinnati police sergeant, had discussed Meghan‘s wishes on Facebook when he did not heard back from the Dream Foundation.

“You can list two possible wishes,” Dan wrote. “Meghan wanted a phone call or a video chat with Taylor Swift, but reasoned that she is so popular currently there would be little if any chance of her being reached.”

Meghan then hoped for a call with Ellen DeGeneres or Jimmy Fallon – two of her favorite talk show hosts – but after more than 2,500 shares on social media, Taylor granted Meghan‘s wish.

Meghan artistically expressed her thanks on Facebook. “The words thank you will never be enough to say to Taylor Alison Swift for this day & taking the time to video chat with me for 29 minutes on September 8th, 2016,” she wrote. “Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Taylor.”

HOW THE HELL DOES ANYONE NOT THINK THIS IS WEIRD HOW SHE’S DOING THIS AFTER THE FAUXLATIONSHIP ENDED

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Now onto damage control event #2, New York Fashion Week:

Taylor (who went with tag along faux friend Martha Hunt lol) decided to make the event all about herself while “supporting” her faux friend Gigi Hadid (who she hasn’t even seen since July lol):

 

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WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS SHE WEARING OMFG

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Also, Gigi was paid to say this about Taylor oh gosh lol:

“She’s obviously such a great friend, and you know, she is starting to go back to work in the studio again, and really made time be here for me, and I am so grateful for that,” the 21-year-old model told Entertainment Tonight after wrapping up her walk down the runway at the Tommy Hilfiger show at NYFW.

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WOW SHE PAID HER FAUX FRIEND TO SAY THAT WHILE SHE CAME TO HELP HER PROMOTE THE NEW TOMMY COLLECTION P.S. TAY IS WEARING TOMMY’S CLOTHES

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Moreover, I love how Gigi didn’t even “defend” Tay from Kimye, but she’s “grateful” that she came to her fashion show:

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Also, Martha who BTW just promoted a Michael Kors event posted this oh gosh:

Tinder. 😂😂😂😂 Jk chill

A post shared by Martha Hunt (@marthahunt) on

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Also, this was tweeted out before the show:

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And, about Martha “supporting” Gigi at the show, they’re not only Victoria’s Secret models, they’re also a part of the same modeling management:

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That’s all for this post, bitches. Oh gosh, Tay’s efforts to become America’s Sweetheart again are just so embarrassing and pathetic like I would feel sorry for her, but she brought all of this on herself lol. But, oh gosh what’s next on her damage control list? Throwing free concerts for her fans? Singing another song with her faux friend Ed Sheeran? Becoming the godmother of Blake Lively’s 2nd child? Oh gosh hahahahhahahah. Also, I wonder who’s gonna fake date the cunt next? I’d be surprised if anyone would want to fake date her now. She seriously ruined her brand with the Tom fauxlationship and now everyone sees who she truly is now: a vapid, self-centered, pretentious and selfish bitch. Goodbye everyone and just remind yourself: At least you’re not Taylor Swift.

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The end of the contract!!!!!

Hello again my amazing readers! I’m back once again with a new post about everyone’s favorite closet case Taylor Swift. Today, I’m gonna talk about Tay and Tom’s contract expiring!! I’m gonna recap everything that had happened in that horrible PR stunt of a fauxlationship and I’m gonna laugh about every stupid thing they did together, because let’s face it: They embarrassed themseleves a lot this year and they’re both fucking laughing stocks now lol. Let me tell you all about it:

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On September 6th, the greatest thing happened: Tay and Tom’s contract expired!!!!!

Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston have broken up after three months of dating.

The former couple began dating earlier this summer, just two weeks after Taylor split from ex Calvin Harris.

Taylor and Tom proceeded to have a whirlwind summer travelling the globe and meeting each other’s families but things just didn’t work out, according to People.

“She was the one to put the brakes on the relationship. Tom wanted the relationship to be more public than she was comfortable with. Taylor knew the backlash that comes with public displays of affection but Tom didn’t listen to her concerns when she brought them up,” a source explained.

Another source added, “It was an intense start. No one can keep that kind of momentum going.”

Although the couple are no longer together, sources say they plan to remain friends.

THEY’RE GONNA REMAIN FRIENDS HUH

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Now onto my recap of this fauxlationship. Let’s take a trip down memory lane shall we:

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From when they 1st met at the Met Gala (while she was still fake-dating Calvin) badly dancing the night away in a video her girlfriend Karlie filmed (so awkward wow):

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To when they kissed and frolicked on a Rhode Island beach uncomfortably:

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To how everyone in the entire world was quick to call the fauxlationship out:

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To them getting on Taylor’s “private plane”

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To this ridiculous story about having expressos and then wine afterwards remember that fuckery lol:

“Tom and Taylor were … in the back left booth drinking white wine,” an eyewitness tells Us Weekly. “They were very cute, a lot of laughing, giggling, as she showed him texts and photos on her phone.”

The pair couldn’t keep their hands off each other either. “They were interlacing their fingers across the table and laughing,” the onlooker said, noting that they ordered the restaurant’s famous Avondale Swan pastry with whipped cream and fudge. The “Wildest Dreams” songstress, 26, and Avengers actor, 35, stayed at the restaurant for more than two and a half hours, the eyewitness adds. They even ordered after-dinner espressos and lingered past 11:30 p.m.

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To Tom wearing the same clothes whenever he was around the cunt lol:

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To attending that Selena Gomez concert omfg lol:

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To those not so awkward dinner dates in Nashville:

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To meeting his mom after “dating” for 10 days, because that’s normal:

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To those nonexistent chemistry photo ops they did in Rome:

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To that 4th of July party that looked like a party thrown for 5-year-olds:

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DOES UNCLE CREEPY NEED A BACK BRACE?

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To when Tom was filmed in the background of a 4th of July video hugging his boyfriend Luke Windsor and Tay was near her girlfriend:

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To Tom looking like his doll just got taken away by security when he was at LAX with the cunt:

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To Tay wearing Karlie’s necklace while with Tom:

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To them doing this when a paparazzo asked if they were in a fauxlationship:

To another really awkward dinner in Australia where Tay decided to let those fake implants of hers hangout (if anyone really wanted to see those Taylor lol):

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To Richard Lawson, (a writer from Vanity Fair) outing Tom on Twitter:

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To Tom refusing to talk about the bitch and posing with his fans lol:

To Tay doing damage control for the fauxlationship:

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To Tom denying that their fauxlationship was a publicity stunt oh gosh this one’s a classic:

“Well, um. How best to put this? The truth is that Taylor Swift and I are together and we’re very happy. Thanks for asking,” Tom responded. “That’s the truth. It’s not a publicity stunt.”

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To Tay and Tom paying their faux friends Chris Hemsworth and Martha Hunt to say that they were “happy” in their fauxlationship oh dear lol:

“I love that they’re both happy and free together,” Martha said. “It’s amazing, I’m all about people being happy in love.”

“I haven’t met her personally, but she’s obviously hugely talented. As I said, I haven’t met her. I think they only got here three or four days ago and I’ve seen Tom around. He looks happy, mate. Yeah!” Chris said.

He was also asked if he plans on asking Taylor to sign an autograph for his daughter India. “No, I’ll just ask her to sing a song,” he replied. “Hand her the guitar in between sit-ups for the cameras and I’ll be like, ‘Off you go.’ A couple tunes would be nice.”

OKAY THESE QUOTES ARE LITERALLY THE SAME THING LIKE WTF DID TREE & LUKE COPY OFF OF EACH OTHER OR SOMETHING

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To how instead of defending his faux GF after the Kimye thing, Tom decided to go on a run:

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To Tom and Tay finally working out together (separately):

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To Taylor showing off her cracked phone and avoiding the paparazzi slender man style:

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To Robert Downey Jr. shading the fauxlationship on Instagram:

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To Tom getting embarrassed at comic con:

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To another awkward date in Santa Monica (this was their last photo op together btw):

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To Tay and Tom working out together separately again (like seriously what kind of “couple” does this shit lol):

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Then, we get to September 6th and it’s the day when the contract expires and Tom is like this:

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In conclusion, this fauxlationship was real as Tay’s implants and ass hahahahhahah. Oh gosh, I’m so happy the contract expired omfg. But, I do think it was supposed to go on way longer than this. I do think they were gonna do the faux engagement stunt, but Kimye and Calvin ruined everything. I hope Tom is sending them all roses and chocolates for ending the fauxlationship early. Also, this fauxlationship ended just in time for the Emmys!!! I hope Tom puts on a graceful smile as he loses to either Idris Elba or Cuba Gooding Jr. Good luck at the Emmys Tom!! Also, good luck with that flop film career you’re gonna continue to have, because you’re a laughing stock now lol. Oh, and don’t you think I forgot about you Tay. Your empire destruction has just begun and I cannot wait until you have the mental breakdown you truly deserve. You won’t have anyone else left in your life except your cats, if your cats even truly like you lol. Goodbye everyone and I will be back with more news about the stupid bitch!

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August 2016 Recap!!!

Hello, everyone! I decided to come back after all, because I want to tell you guys my opinion on everyone’s favorite drama queen lol. In this post, I’m gonna talk about how many ridiculous damage control stunts she tried to do to get back into our good graces. Spoiler alert: None of them worked, Tay, you really need to stop with this, it’s getting a tad bit ridiculous. Just take a break from the spotlight. No one will miss you. Oh wait. I forgot. You’re too addicted to the spotlight to leave lol. Let me give you my recap of August 2016:

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The month began terribly for Tay, because Britney Spears said she doesn’t remember ever meeting Taylor:

“I don’t know! I don’t know, that’s hard. They’re both so cool, I don’t know,” Britney replied. “I’ve briefly met Katy Perry at the Smurfs movie premiere. Maybe because I’ve met Katy Perry I would say Taylor Swift, because I’ve never met her before.”

FUNNY HOW SHE SAID THAT, BECAUSE THEY MET AT 2008 VMAS ROFL

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WOW IT’S SO REFRESHING SEEING TAY WITH HER OLD NOSE AND BREASTS WOW

Also, they met when Taylor was just 13 lol:

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WOW JUST COMPARE THAT TO WHAT TAY LOOKS LIKE NOW LOL

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SPOT THE DIFFERENCE PEOPLE

Later on, Tom and Taylor were doing what they do best: going to separate gyms hahahhahahahah

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WHY ARE YOU HIDING YOUR FACE TAY? HAVE YOU BEEN CRYING OR SOMETHING?

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To make matters worst, Justin Bieber called out the bitch while face-timing Kanye omfg:

WOW I CAN’T STAND JUSTIN, BUT THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS

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Moreover, Jared Leto decided to namedrop Tay to promote Suicide Squad like wtf:

She’s great. She triggers a conversation with myself about what’s possible. And you know, the thing I like about Taylor is she’s a self-made woman. I see that in my mother. There were probably points in Taylor’s career where someone else maybe would have been knocked off balance by criticism or other challenges, and she just kept marching forward.

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After that, Taylor used her cat Meredith as damage control wtf:

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Taylor then continued her damage control spree by wishing her girlfriend I mean special friend Karlie Kloss a happy birthday:

LOVE HOW IT’S MORE ABOUT TAY THAN KARLIE IN THIS PIC

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Funny, how this happened before Karlie’s Swarovski campaign 8 days later:

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After that, Star Magazine released their most hated celebs list and look who’s number 1:

#1 Most Hated Celebrity: Taylor Swift. Who would have thought that America’s sweetheart would turn out to be Hollywood’s secret snake in the grass? Answer: Katy Perry, Kim Kardashian, Calvin Harris – and pretty much every man she’s ever dated! Taylor’s growing crowd of detractors are clamoring that her good girl image is just that… a carefully crafted fantasy, and that she’s actually a conniving mean girl who, most annoyingly of all, relentlessly plays the victim.

2. Kim Kardashian
3. Kanye West
4. Kylie Jenner
5. Kris Jenner
6. Khloe Kardashian
7. Kourtney Kardashain
8. Beyonce
9. Justin Bieber
10. Madonna
11. Jaden Smith
12. Katy Perry
13. Bill Cosby
14. Gwyneth Paltrow
15. Chris Brown
16. Ariana Grande
17. Mariah Carey
18. Miley Cyrus
19. Tori Spelling
20. Bethenny Frankel
21. Lindsay Lohan
22. LeAnn Rimes
23. Rosie O’Donnell
24. Katherine Heigl
25. Shia LaBeouf
26. Angelina Jolie
27. Kristen Stewart
28. John Mayer
29. Ashton Kutcher
30. John Travolta
31. Anne Hathaway
32. Ben Affleck
33. Mark Salling
34. James Franco
35. Megan Fox

GO STAR MAGAZINE

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Later on, some tea got exposed: Former faux friend squad member Hailee Steinfeld revealed some secrets about the faux friend squad omfg:

“I think people think we spend a lot more time together than we actually do!”

WOW HAILEE FUCKING EXPOSED THAT BITCH WOW DAMN SHIT

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Moreover, Tay continued her Purpose 2.0 tour and performed at a party (which she attended with Karlie!!!) for Mike Hess (who is he? lol) with Nelly:

OH GOSH SHE LOOKS SO FUCKING AWKWARD UGHHHH

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After that mess, Taylor wished her former tour-mate/faux-friend Shawn Mendes (who she hasn’t even seen since the 1989 tour ended lol) a happy birthday by badly lip-synching one of his songs so fucking embarrassing:

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Also, it’s funny how she’s wishing him a happy birthday before this song was released:

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Also, I found some receipts about Tay and Shawn’s supposed “friendship”:

Not only were they tour-mates, their record labels are also connected through Universal Music Group take a look!

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Moving on now, Tom got an Instagram and this was his 1st pic:

He's back!

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HE MAKES LOKI LOOK LIKE A JOKI NOW LIKE HE LOOKS SO TERRIBLE NOW

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Then, something random happened: Taylor Lautner decided to namedrop Tay when promoting Scream Queens oh dear lol:

“You dated Taylor Swift, I remember that!” Lea exclaimed. “Should we talk about it? Didn’t she write a song about you?”

Taylor suddenly got super shy, replying, “That’s hilarious…that’s what she does. She writes songs.”

Lea then asks if it’s the song “about the sweater and the hat” and Taylor says he “has no idea!” but admits, “It’s good music. I listen to it.”

OH GOSH WHY ARE YOU STILL TRYING TO PROVE YOU’RE STRAIGHT?

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After that, Tay was spotted hitting the gym and boy does she look like a trainwreck lol:

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IDK WHAT’S WORST? HER HAIR OR HER CAMELTOE UGHHHH

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Later on in August, Robert Downey Jr. decided to welcome Tom to Instagram by shading his fauxlationship with Tay ahahahahhahahahah

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AND, THIS IS WHY I LOVE ROBERT DOWNEY JR. PEOPLE!!!!

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Tay then tried to do more damage control by “congratulating” the final five girls oh my dear lol:

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Moreover, Tom was asked again about his fauxlationship with that cunt and this is what he said this time lol

“We all live in a world where every phone has a camera and there’s nothing new, really, about the spotlight on me, I think that’s what happens when you’re a public figure,” Tom said. “I’ve learned that there are many sides to a story, and that sometimes there are a lot of stories out there which are false and the hardest thing is to try to not let those falsehoods affect your own life, that’s what I would say.”

FALSE STORIES HUH? ARE YOU INSISTING THAT YOUR FAUXLATIONSHIP IS FAKE, TOM?

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Later on, Karlie got in some hot water after she said this about Kim:

”I think she’s been a lovely person to me in the past.”

Karlie then tried to do damage control by saying all of this hahhahahahah:

“I WILL NEVER BE THE GIRL THAT YOU CAN USE TO PIT WOMAN AGAINST EACH OTHER”

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Also, it’s funny how this happened before Karlie’s interview with Vogue Australia:

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SERIOUSLY THAT’S WHAT HER SPREAD WAS ABOUT? ON HOW TO TAKE THE PERFECT SELFIE?

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Now back to Tay’s excessive damage control tour, she donated $1 million to Louisiana flood relief:

Taylor Swift is donating $1 million to Louisiana flood relief following rains that led to widespread flooding in the state this past week, damaging thousands of homes and resulting in the deaths of at least 11 people.

The 26-year-old singer told the Associated Press on Tuesday that Louisiana residents had welcomed her warmly when she started off The 1989 World Tour there last year.

“We began The 1989 World Tour in Louisiana, and the wonderful fans there made us feel completely at home,” Taylor said in her statement. “The fact that so many people in Louisiana have been forced out of their own homes this week is heartbreaking.”

“I encourage those who can to help out and send your love and prayers their way during this devastating time,” she added.

Over 30,000 people have been rescued from the flooding since Friday, according to Fox News.

OH GOSH THIS REMINDS ME OF NEVEL DOING DAMAGE CONTROL ON ICARLY

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To make things even more hilarious, Tay wished happy birthday to another one of her famewhore faux friends Blake Lively:

IDK WHAT’S MORE AWKWARD ABOUT THIS PIC? THE KOALA OR HOW THEY’RE NOT EVEN LOOKING AT THE CAMERA WHICH ONE OF THEIR PUBLICISTS OBVIOUSLY TOOK

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Funny, how Tay wished her faux friend a happy birthday before this film comes out on DVD & Bluray in September:

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And, before her other film All I see is you premieres at TIFF in the same month:

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BTW THIS IS A FILM WHERE BLAKE IS GONNA PLAY A BLIND WOMAN

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Later on, some stupid swifties lost their shit, because they saw Meredith the cat from an window what the actual fuck:

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After that stupid thing, Tay was spotted leaving the gym once again:

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WHAT IS UP WITH THOSE SHOES? AND, WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE SHE NEVER SWEATS AFTER SHE LEAVES?

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To do more damage control, Tay was actually spotted with her faux black friend Todrick Hall (who she hasn’t even seen since April lmfao):

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OH GOSH THEY LOOK SO OUT OF PLACE, CONFUSED AND JUST RANDOM TOGETHER. LIKE, TAY I KNOW YOU’RE TRYING TO PROVE YOU’RE NOT A RACIST, BUT IS THIS TRULY THE WAY BITCH?

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Also, it’s funny how they’re hanging out after this came out:

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At the VMAS, Kanye kind of referenced Taylor in his speech:

In his speech, Kanye mentioned Taylor Swift and their feud, saying, “Like people come to me like ‘damn, that’s right, take Taylor,’ like bro, I love all y’all. That’s why I called her.”

MAN, I WANTED MORE KANYE LIKE WHY MAN WHY

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After that, Taylor did more damage control, by going to Jury duty and asking to be dismissed later on wtf:

Taylor Swift has been dismissed by the courts in Nashville, Tennessee because she told a judge she could not be impartial in an aggravated rape/kidnapping case, TMZ reports.

The case in question involved a man who penetrated a woman with a blunt object. Taylor told the judge she has a pending case in Colorado against former radio host David Mueller. David allegedly fondled Taylor backstage during a concert, and thus couldn’t be impartial sitting on the jury of a different sexual assault case.

SO, YOU’LL FORCIBLY DONATE MONEY TO A RAPE VICTIM, BUT YOU WON’T PARTICIPATE IN A RAPE CASE

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Moreover, it was reported that Taylor “went” to her faux friend Blake’s baby shower lol:

Blake Lively and her husband Ryan Reynolds are getting ready for the arrival of their second child and they celebrated with a baby shower on Saturday afternoon (August 27)!

The 29-year-old actress was joined by friends and family, including Taylor Swift who made it to the party before she had to head to jury duty!

According to E! News, the event was hosted at the Bedford Post Inn in Westchester, NY.

Guests arrived around 11 A.M. and enjoyed the 90 minute gathering, with some friends heading back to Blake and Ryan‘s house after the event.

THEN, WHERE ARE THE PICS OF THIS SUPPOSED EVENT IF IT EVEN HAPPENED? LIKE, WE ALL KNOW BLAKE NEVER MISSES A CHANCE TO LEECH OFF OF TAYLOR’S FAME SO WHERE ARE THE PICS GUYS? OR DID YOU GUYS MAKE UP THIS STORY, BECAUSE BLAKE HAS 2 MOVIES COMING OUT?

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ALSO, IF BLAKE PULLS A JAIME KING & MAKES TAYLOR THE GODMOTHER OF HER 2ND CHILD, I’M GONNA KILL THAT GIRL I WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED, SHE USED HER 1ST BABY FOR HER STUPID SLAVERY SITE SO….

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Moreover, Kourtney Kardashian decided to voice her opinion on the Kimye vs. Tay fight:

“It’s her husband, and he’s family. The truth is the truth, so why not let it be known?”

I THINK THIS IS THE SMARTEST THING THAT SHE HAS EVER SAID LIKE WOW

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Taylor then finally stepped out with Martha Hunt (who she hasn’t hung out with since July lol):

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WTF WHO WEARS THAT TYPE OF JACKET TO A GYM AND DO THEY SERIOUSLY GO TO THE GYM, BECAUSE NONE OF THEM STILL LOOK SWEATY

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Ironic how Martha hungout with Tay before this little thing:

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After that, Tay did more damage control by actually getting involved with Jaime King oh dear gosh:

Dear all- at 20 weeks our son was diagnosed with Transposition of the Great Arteries AKA TGA. He had a major heart surgery, that was terrifying, and traumatic for us as parents, for our family. Only a few of our best friends knew. I felt that I had to protect him in fear of the unknown, fear he would not make it. We felt isolated & confused. @taylorswift does so many selfless acts that go unnoticed because she does them silently, from such a great place of unconditional giving. As the Godmother of Leo Thames for his birthday she gave an incredible donation to the people that saved his life Dr. Allistar Phillips and his brilliant team. It made us realize that silence cannot connect other parents & people going through these issues. TS knew that by giving back in this way would be the greatest gift one could give to us, to Leo Thames and to all of those with congenital heart issues. She came to the ICU to comfort us, to hold and bond with him with such grace & strength. Our gift back is to share our story that anyone that is going through this is not alone, we understand & want to stand up to bring awareness in the greatest way possible. Leo Thames is the strongest, healthiest boy because of this team. He will live a full and whole life & never have to look back. Thank you Taylor & to EVERYONE listed on this letter we love you. With gratitude and humbleness 💜 Jaime and Kyle

A post shared by Jaime King (@jaime_king) on

WOW DRAGGING A POOR KID INTO YOUR DAMAGE CONTROL TOUR WOW BITCH

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Funny, how this happened before this was announced:

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IRONIC HOW THE FILM IS TITLED BITCH

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That’s it for August. Wow, this damage control tour is just showing how manipulative and deceitful Taylor is. Like, dragging your “godson” into your mess even though you haven’t seen him since January of this year like wtf cunt. Also, I cannot wait to cover September that’s gonna be a good one haha. Bye guys and I’ll be back later one with the September post!

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I’m finally back and I’m gonna review what happened in July 2016!!!!

Hello my bitches. Nat is finally back with my recap on everything that had happened in July 2016 about everyone’s favorite little dramatic bitch Taylor Alison Swift. I’m so sorry I’ve been away, I’ve been very busy with a lot of things, but now my schedule has cleared up to finally talk about that cunt and her fairytale adventures. Let’s get this recap party started:

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On July 13th, some shocking news leaked to the world! Taylor or should I say Nils Sjoberg (out of all of the fake names you could’ve chosen, that’s the one you went with wtf bitch) actually co-wrote her ex-beard’s song Calvin Harris’, “This Is What You Came For”!

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GEEZ NO WONDER THE SONG SUCKS DAMN

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Calvin later confirmed that she did indeed co-wrote the song with these shady tweets haha:

I know you’re off tour and you need someone new to try and bury like Katy ETC but I’m not that guy, sorry. I won’t allow it

— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) July 13, 2016

And she sings on a little bit of it too 🙃
Amazing lyric writer and she smashed it as usual https://t.co/vW3yGOIJit

— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) July 13, 2016

“AMAZING LYRIC WRITER AND SHE SMASHED IT AS USUAL”

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I wrote the music, produced the song, arranged it and cut the vocals though. And initially she wanted it kept secret, hence the pseudonym

— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) July 13, 2016

Hurtful to me at this point that her and her team would go so far out of their way to try and make ME look bad at this stage though 🤔

— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) July 13, 2016

I figure if you’re happy in your new relationship you should focus on that instead of trying to tear your ex bf down for something to do

— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) July 13, 2016

I know you’re off tour and you need someone new to try and bury like Katy ETC but I’m not that guy, sorry. I won’t allow it

— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) July 13, 2016

WOW I DESPISE CALVIN, BUT 3 CHEERS FOR YOU CALVIN

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Katy Perry also might’ve commented on the whole controversy with this tweet:

I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON I LOVED KATY PERRY

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On July 15th after he got nominated for his 1st Emmy, Tom finally opened up about his fauxlationship with Tay:

“Well, um. How best to put this? The truth is that Taylor Swift and I are together and we’re very happy. Thanks for asking,” Tom responded. “That’s the truth. It’s not a publicity stunt.”

IT’S NOT A PUBLICITY STUNT HUH

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ALSO, WHY DID YOU SAY HER 1ST TIME, TOM? WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE SAID TAYLOR OR EVEN TAY? IS IT BECAUSE THAT WAS OBVIOUSLY A SCRIPTED ANSWER WRITTEN BY TREE OR EVEN LUKE?

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LIKE COMPARE WHAT HE SAID ABOUT THAT BITCH TO WHAT HE SAID ABOUT BEING NOMINATED FOR AN EMMY FOR THE 1ST IN HIS LIFE LMFAO:

“I didn’t have any expectations and suddenly my phone started blowing up a couple hours ago. This is the most wonderful surprise, and honestly the most thrilling thing about it is that it feels like an extraordinary and heartwarming affirmation for the whole team who made The Night Manager. Making The Night Manager was the most fulfilling team effort, and I’m so proud of everybody,” Tom said.

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That same day, Taylor’s famewhore faux friend Martha Hunt talked about Tom and Tay’s fauxlationship lol stupid bitch:

“I love that they’re both happy and free together,” Martha said. “It’s amazing, I’m all about people being happy in love.”

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Funny, how Martha namedropped them a month before she promoted the new Easy collection from Body by Victoria’s Secret:

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Later on, Tom’s costar Chris Hemsworth namedropped the fauxlationship also (wtf Chris):

“I haven’t met her personally, but she’s obviously hugely talented. As I said, I haven’t met her. I think they only got here three or four days ago and I’ve seen Tom around. He looks happy, mate. Yeah!” Chris said.

He was also asked if he plans on asking Taylor to sign an autograph for his daughter India. “No, I’ll just ask her to sing a song,” he replied. “Hand her the guitar in between sit-ups for the cameras and I’ll be like, ‘Off you go.’ A couple tunes would be nice.”

HE LOOKS SO HAPPY HUH

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ARE

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YOU

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SURE

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ABOUT

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THAT

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CHRIS

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Also, it’s funny how Chris namedropped them while promoting this movie:

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On July 16th, Taylor’s other famewhore faux friend Jaime King used her son’s birthday to try to get Tay’s attention what a fucking sicko that crazy bitch is ughhhh:

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So ironic how this happened before Jaime covered Fight Song with a bunch of other more relevant actresses to support Hillary Clinton:

DID JAIME GET MORE PLASTIC SURGERY? SHE’S STARTING TO PUT KIM & MELANIA TO SHAME

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Moving on to the best day ever! On July 17th, Kim Kardashian leaked a snapchat video of Kanye West asking Tay for permission to include those lyrics about him maybe having sex with her lol:

KIMYE GOT THAT BITCH OMFG

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Remember, back in February and June, Taylor’s rep said she never approved of those lyrics lol:

“Kanye did not call for approval, but to ask Taylor to release his single ‘Famous’ on her Twitter account. She declined and cautioned him about releasing a song with such a strong misogynistic message,” Taylor‘s rep told JustJared.com. “Taylor was never made aware of the actual lyric, ‘I made that bitch famous.’”

“Taylor does not hold anything against Kim Kardashian as she recognizes the pressure Kim must be under and that she is only repeating what she has been told by Kanye West. However, that does not change the fact that much of what Kim is saying is incorrect,” Taylor‘s rep said in a statement to GQ.

“Kanye West and Taylor only spoke once on the phone while she was on vacation with her family in January of 2016 and they have never spoken since. Taylor has never denied that conversation took place,” the rep continued. “It was on that phone call that Kanye West also asked her to release the song on her Twitter account, which she declined to do. Kanye West never told Taylor he was going to use the term, ‘that b—h’ in referencing her. A song cannot be approved if it was never heard. Kanye West never played the song for Taylor Swift. Taylor heard it for the first time when everyone else did and was humiliated. Kim Kardashian‘s claim that Taylor and her team were aware of being recorded is not true, and Taylor cannot understand why Kanye West, and now Kim Kardashian, will not just leave her alone.”

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Then, Tay tried to pathetically cover it up by saying it was character assassination lol:

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Kim then tweeted this:

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After that, Taylor’s instagram was flooded with snake emojis:

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Then, Tay’s faux friend and terrible singer/actress Selena Gomez tried to make it about herself I mean was paid to defend Tay and boy was it messy just like Selena’s drug problem I mean Lupus if she even really has that lol:

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Funny, how Selena “defended” Tay even if you call that defending whatever the fuck she did lol, before she released a remix of her terrible song Kill Em with Kindness:

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Later on, to promote her new single Rise, Katy Perry decided to shade Tay also hahahhahahahah:

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By the way, Tom decided to go on a run instead of defending his beard lol:

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AWWW, WERE YOU TRYING TO ESCAPE THIS FAUXLATIONSHIP, TOM?

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Moving on, horrible actress Chloe Grace Moretz tried to get her thirsty opinion on the controversy:

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Then, Khloe Kardashian shut that bitch down lol:

Is this the a hole you’re referring to @ChloeGMoretz ??? pic.twitter.com/h56S8FvNWr

— Khloé (@khloekardashian) July 18, 2016

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OKAY, BITCH WE GET IT YOU WERE IN NEIGHBORS THAT ALSO FLOPPED AT THE BOX OFFICE GOOD FOR YOU!

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Then, that thirsty other famewhore Ruby Rose badly defended Chloe so pathetic haha:

BITCH, WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING? YOU’RE NOT EVEN RELEVANT ANYMORE

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Moreover, Kim later dissed Taylor once again omfg I’m loving this:

“What would happen if you just called Taylor up and say ‘what happened? How did this go so south?’” Kris said. “I guess I don’t understand the motivation to flip … maybe she took it the wrong way. My advice would to be give Taylor Swift a call.”

“Thank you for your lovely advice, but I’m not going to take it,” Kim said in response.

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Then, a source tells TMZ that Taylor wanted Kanye wanted to destroy the phone call in February:

It appears that Taylor Swift was aware of her phone call with Kanye West being secretly recorded as she demanded he destroy the video back in February.

The 26-year-old singer’s lawyer sent a letter to Kanye‘s team demanding that he destroy the phone conversation as it is illegal in California to record a phone conversation without the other person’s consent.

Sources told TMZ that the conversation was recorded in a studio located in Los Angeles.

“Demand is hereby made that you immediately destroy all such recordings, provide us of assurance that this has been done, and also assurance that these recordings have not been previously disseminated,” the letter reportedly said.

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To make matters worst, Demi Lovato, former faux friend squad member Zendaya and Pharrell all favorited tweets favoriting Kimye over Taylor hahahahhahahaha:

It looks like Zendaya, Demi Lovato, and Pharrell Williams are supporting Kim Kardashian and Kanye West after the Taylor Swift “Famous” phone call video was revealed.

While none of the three directly said anything about the video, each favorited a tweet that showed support for Kim and Kanye.

“I’m glad Zendaya was never really down with that whole Taylor squad sh*t,” one tweet read, that Zendaya favorited just minutes after being posted.

Demi favorited a tweet that read, “I LOVE KIM KARDASHIAN,” with several emojis.

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Later on, Martha & Ruby tried to be relevant again by defending their faux friend lol:

FUNNY HOW YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT SPREADING THE LOVE EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE IN A MUSIC VIDEO ABOUT DISSING ANOTHER WOMAN

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Hilarious, how Ruby defended her faux friend before this teaser trailer came out:

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Chris Brown even dissed the cunt omfg lol:

“WHO GIVES A F–K,” Chris initially wrote. He added, “CELEBRITIES, FREEDOM OF SPEECH???, come back to f–king planet earth. EVERYONE REALLY BE ACTING LIKE LITTLE ASS KIDS (EVEN ME AT TIMES).”

“Oh NO…” Chris added. “Someone said something I don’t like, OUCH, MY PUSSY HURT. Make music and shut the f–k up.”

Chris also reportedly left comments elsewhere in which he said that “our values or even our regular lives are too consumed by bullsh-t. ME INCLUDED. I just wanna see things from artists (celebrities) that actually f–king matter. I don’t need the press nor am I dropping an album next week.”

WOW CHRIS THAT WAS JUST AWESOME SHIT WOW

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Going onto Camilla Belle now haha: Remember her? She was the girl Joe Jonas allegedly left Taylor for and Tay wrote that terrible song Better than Revenge where she talks about how she’s better known for the things she does on the mattress (ironic huh? lol) well she decided to weigh in on the drama by saying this haha:

#quoteoftheday #happymonday #felizsegunda

A post shared by Camilla Belle (@camillabelle) on

CAMILLA, I DON’T REALLY KNOW YOU THAT WELL, BUT YOU GO GIRL

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Later on, Tay’s stupid director Joseph Kahn (who is he like seriously?) tried to defend that bitch by comparing her to Nicole Brown Simpson (I wish I was joking omfg):

A RAINBOW IN A SWAMP WERE YOU ON CRACK WHEN YOU TWEETED THIS?

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YOU CAN KISS BYE BYE TO THAT DIRECTING CAREER OF YOURS ASSHOLE

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Onto more ridiculous news, Taylor’s own Jonathan Cheban aka that stupid bitch Abigail Anderson got thirsty and said all of this bullshit:

Lord, hear my prayers…I pray God helps your daughter understand, that despite how many times she’ll hear daddy reference all women as ‘bitches,’ she isn’t one. I pray she understands her father actually IS faithful to her mother, despite all the adulterous comments she will hear her father making…I pray that she will understand ‘adultery and bitches’ are just daddy’s form of art and not to worry because not every man thinks like him.”

Abigail added, “Lastly, I pray for forgiveness. May God forgive you & your wife for doing to others the very things you pray are NEVER done to your daughter.”

THE BITCH LATER GOT DEATH THREATS AND DELETED ALL OF THIS OMFG

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She then tweeted this ughhhhhh:

Guys…I will always stand by my best friend. There’s no point in fighting over than. #BlessIt

— Abigail Anderson (@abiander) July 18, 2016

HOW MUCH WERE YOU PAID LIKE WTF DUMBASS

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Moreover, Uzo Aduba was later paid to defend Tay too ughhhhh:

The 35-year-old Orange is the New Black star has weighed in on all the drama with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.

When asked if Tay will overcome the feud, Uzo told Vanity Fair, “She will, adding that “she’s a beautiful person and strong.”

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Also, it’s funny how Uzo said all of this before her Essence Mag cover came out next month:

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Then, Todrick Hall, (you know another one of Taylor’s token black best friends) also got paid to defend her:

“In the words of Sweet Brown, ‘Ain’t nobody got time for that.’ I’ve had my Regina George moments in my life, [but] I think there’s a reason why you would call someone and record them,” Todrick told People. “I’m not sure of everything that happened or did not happen, but all I know is I feel that I would feel taken advantage of if someone recorded me without me knowing it.”

“My heart goes out to her because she never asked to be a part of this whole Kimye experience,” he continued. “She just wanted to accept an award. And it’s just, literally, like Bring It On – you know how they keep making Bring It On movies again and again and again? It’s like it doesn’t seem it will end.”

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How hilarious that this happened before this was announced about Todrick:

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ALSO, ISN’T FUNNY HOW A LOT OF HER BLACK FAUX FRIENDS ARE “DEFENDING” HER LIKE I SEE YOU THROUGH YOUR ACT BITCH!

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On July 22nd, The ugly and her old ass beard were spotted in L.A. together, because Tom was going to comic con:

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OH GOSH, DOES TOM OWN MORE THAN ONE PAIR OF JEANS, JACKET AND SHOES LIKE SERIOUSLY

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That same day, Taylor and Tom finally decided to step out together by: going to separate gyms in California. I’m serious hahhahahahaha

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OMFG DID SHE THROW HER PHONE AT THE WALL AFTER TREE TOLD HER SHE COUDLN’T SUE KIMYE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAHAHAHHAHAHHA

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TOM IS OFC WEARING THE SAME SHIRT AND LOOKS OLD AF AS USUAL

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Later on, Calvin decided to party with Kim and sing a Kanye song on Snapchat:

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Then as damage control, Tay decided to wish her faux friend Slutena a happy birthday:

LOVE HOW SHE ISN’T EVEN SMILING IN THIS PIC LIKE WTF TAY

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Now let’s check in on Tom at comic con shall we:

Tom was seen at comic con (Taylor must’ve been relieved not to go and probably was happy to Skype Karlie that day) with his Kong: Skull Island co-stars:

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WHY THE HELL DOES HE LOOK MORE HAPPIER WITH HIS ENGAGED COSTAR THAN HE DOES WITH HIS SUPPOSED “GIRLFRIEND”?

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Also, some shady moments happened at comic con omfg:

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OH FUCKING SHIT I LOVE YOU BRIE LARSON HAHAHHAHAHHA

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By the way if any of you care, here’s the trailer for the movie:

OH GOSH THIS LOOKS SO FUCKING TERRIBLE GOOD LUCK WITH ANOTHER FLOP TO ADD TO YOUR RESUME TOM!

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After comic con, Tom was seen with Taylor’s driver:

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WOW, HE’S FINALLY WEARING A DIFFERENT JACKET AND HE LOOKS SO HAPPY

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Then MTV decided to do something great: They released the 2016 VMA Nominations and look who got nominated and who didn’t:

VIDEO OF THE YEAR
Adele – “Hello”
Beyoncé – “Formation”
Drake – “Hotline Bling”
Justin Bieber – “Sorry”
Kanye West – “Famous”

BEST FEMALE VIDEO
Adele – “Hello”
Beyoncé – “Hold Up”
Sia – “Cheap Thrills”
Ariana Grande – “Into You”
Rihanna ft. Drake – “Work” (short version)

BEST MALE VIDEO
Drake – “Hotline Bling”
Bryson Tiller – “Don’t”
Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna – “This Is What You Came For”
Kanye West – “Famous”
The Weeknd – “Can’t Feel My Face”

BEST COLLABORATION
Beyoncé ft. Kendrick Lamar – “Freedom”
Fifth Harmony ft. Ty Dolla $ign – “Work From Home”
Ariana Grande ft. Lil Wayne – “Let Me Love You”
Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna – “This Is What You Came For”
Rihanna ft. Drake – “Work” (short version)

BEST HIP HOP VIDEO
Drake – “Hotline Bling”
Desiigner – “Panda”
Bryson Tiller – “Don’t”
Chance The Rapper featuring Saba – “Angels”
2 Chainz – “Watch Out”

BEST POP VIDEO
Adele – “Hello”
Beyoncé – “Formation”
Justin Bieber – “Sorry”
Alessia Cara – “Wild Things”
Ariana Grande – “Into You”

BEST ROCK VIDEO
All Time Low – “Missing You”
Coldplay – “Adventure Of A Lifetime”
Fall Out Boy ft. Demi Lovato – “Irresistible”
twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
Panic! At The Disco – “Victorious”

BEST ELECTRONIC VIDEO
Calvin Harris & Disciples – “How Deep Is Your Love”
99 Souls ft. Destiny’s Child & Brandy – “The Girl Is Mine”
Mike Posner – “I Took A Pill In Ibiza”
Afrojack – “SummerThing!”
The Chainsmokers ft. Daya – “Don’t Let Me Down”

BREAKTHROUGH LONG FORM VIDEO
Florence + The Machine – The Odyssey
Beyoncé – Lemonade
Justin Bieber – PURPOSE: The Movement
Chris Brown – Royalty
Troye Sivan – Blue Neighbourhood Trilogy

BEST NEW ARTIST Presented by Taco Bell
Bryson Tiller
Desiigner
Zara Larsson
Lukas Graham
DNCE

BEST ART DIRECTION
Beyoncé – “Hold Up”
Production Designer: Jason Hougaard
Fergie – “M.I.L.F.”
Production Designer: Alexander Delgado
Drake – “Hotline Bling”
Production Designer: Jeremy MacFarlane
David Bowie – “Blackstar”
Production Designer: Jan Houllevigue
Adele – “Hello”
Production Designer: Colombe Raby

BEST CHOREOGRAPHY
Beyoncé – “Formation”
Missy Elliott ft. Pharrell – “WTF (Where They From)”
Beyoncé – “Sorry”
FKA Twigs – “M3LL155X”
Florence + The Machine – “Delilah”

BEST DIRECTION
Beyoncé – “Formation”
Coldplay – “Up&Up”
Adele – “Hello”
David Bowie – “Lazarus”
Tame Impala – “The Less I Know The Better”

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Beyoncé – “Formation”
Adele – “Hello”
David Bowie – “Lazarus”
Alesso – “I Wanna Know”
Ariana Grande – “Into You”

BEST EDITING
Beyoncé – “Format
Adele – “Hello”
Fergie – “M.I.L.F. $”
David Bowie – “Lazarus”
Ariana Grande – “Into You”

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
Coldplay – “Up&Up”
FKA Twigs – “M3LL155X”
Adele – “Send My Love (To Your New Lover)”
The Weeknd – “Can’t Feel My Face”
Zayn – “PILLOWTALK”

WOW NO WILDEST DREAMS OR EVEN OUT OF THE WOODS BUT THEY NOMINATE FAMOUS AND THIS IS WHAT YOU CAME FOR HAHAHAHHAHAHHA GO MTV

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Then Tree tried to damage control and say that Taylor was too busy in 2015 to get nominated for a VMA this year if that makes any sense lol:

“But Swift was not “snubbed” at all. The singing superstar was on tour for the vast part of last year, and not putting out new songs. Additionally, it seems Swift’s team never submitted the handful of videos that still trickled out at the end of 2015 since she never planned on attending this year’s ceremony.”

WTF SHE PUT OUT A LOT OF NEW SONGS LAST YEAR, BUT WHATEVER YOU SAY TREE

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Later on in July, Tay and Tom were later seen in Santa Monica to make it seem like she’s okay after not getting any VMA nominations haha:

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TOM LOOKS SO CONSTIPATED IN THESE PICS AND WTF ARE WITH TAY’S SHOES LOL

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After that, Kanye dissed Taylor twice!

Kanye, on his favorite Taylor Swift song: “For me? I don’t have one.”

“All I gotta say is, I am so glad my wife has Snapchat,” Kanye told the screaming crowd. “Because now y’all can know the truth. And can’t nobody talk s–t about ‘Ye no more.”

THIS IS WHY I LOVE KANYE

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Then, Troian Bellisario aka Spencer Hastings from Pretty Little Liars did the lord a favor by dissing Taylor too:

“Oh god, I have such an aversion to the Kardashians because I literally don’t understand people’s obsession with them and I don’t want to accept them as our closest thing to a royal family, so I guess I would be Team Taylor Swift?” she told Cosmopolitan. “However, I’m so appalled by what I consider to be her false feminism. It seems like she’s this person who’s like, ‘Sisterhood!’ and then she does nothing but tear down the women that were once her friends. So is it possible to just be, like … this is a two-party system that I don’t want to be a part of? Can I just say that? Can I say that I would choose the Green Party in this?”

I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON I LOVE TROIAN BELLISARIO

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Moving on, Cara can’t act her away out of paper bag Delevingne name dropped Tay to promote Suicide Squad lol pathetic cunt:

DID ANYBODY ELSE GET BORED BY THIS OBVIOUSLY FAKE STORY OR WAS IT JUST ME?

 

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BTW, NOT ONLY DID SUICIDE SQUAD GET TERRIBLE REVIEWS, CARA ALSO GOT TERRIBLE REVIEWS FOR HER PERFORMANCE:

“It is a mystery almost as deep as the question of why Ayer thought it was a good idea to cast model-turned-actress Cara Delevingne as the film’s villain. Playing Enchantress, a resuscitated witch from the past who inhabits the body of a scientist laughably named June Moone, and who threatens the End of Life as We Know It, the “Paper Towns” actress can at least be counted on to deliver several of the film’s few-and-far-between laughs.

None of them, in her case, are intentional.”

“The former model fails to convince as a woman with ancient origins who can finagle people’s brains and longs to be worshipped. Looking the part of a psychotic spirit animal is not enough. Intensity is required, and she doesn’t have the gravitas to pull it off.”

I GUESS CARA CAN KISS THAT FILM CAREER GOODBYE LOL

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That’s it for the July post. Oh gosh it’s good to be back my friends! I’ll probably return later on or maybe tomorrow with the August posts and omfg that is just full of pathetic damage control stunts. And, the September post will be amazing and awesome unlike Taylor hahahhahahaa. Goodbye everyone see you later on or maybe tomorrow!!

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