August 2016 Recap!!!

Hello, everyone! I decided to come back after all, because I want to tell you guys my opinion on everyone’s favorite drama queen lol. In this post, I’m gonna talk about how many ridiculous damage control stunts she tried to do to get back into our good graces. Spoiler alert: None of them worked, Tay, you really need to stop with this, it’s getting a tad bit ridiculous. Just take a break from the spotlight. No one will miss you. Oh wait. I forgot. You’re too addicted to the spotlight to leave lol. Let me give you my recap of August 2016:

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The month began terribly for Tay, because Britney Spears said she doesn’t remember ever meeting Taylor:

“I don’t know! I don’t know, that’s hard. They’re both so cool, I don’t know,” Britney replied. “I’ve briefly met Katy Perry at the Smurfs movie premiere. Maybe because I’ve met Katy Perry I would say Taylor Swift, because I’ve never met her before.”

FUNNY HOW SHE SAID THAT, BECAUSE THEY MET AT 2008 VMAS ROFL

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WOW IT’S SO REFRESHING SEEING TAY WITH HER OLD NOSE AND BREASTS WOW

Also, they met when Taylor was just 13 lol:

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WOW JUST COMPARE THAT TO WHAT TAY LOOKS LIKE NOW LOL

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SPOT THE DIFFERENCE PEOPLE

Later on, Tom and Taylor were doing what they do best: going to separate gyms hahahhahahahah

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WHY ARE YOU HIDING YOUR FACE TAY? HAVE YOU BEEN CRYING OR SOMETHING?

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To make matters worst, Justin Bieber called out the bitch while face-timing Kanye omfg:

WOW I CAN’T STAND JUSTIN, BUT THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS

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Moreover, Jared Leto decided to namedrop Tay to promote Suicide Squad like wtf:

She’s great. She triggers a conversation with myself about what’s possible. And you know, the thing I like about Taylor is she’s a self-made woman. I see that in my mother. There were probably points in Taylor’s career where someone else maybe would have been knocked off balance by criticism or other challenges, and she just kept marching forward.

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After that, Taylor used her cat Meredith as damage control wtf:

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Taylor then continued her damage control spree by wishing her girlfriend I mean special friend Karlie Kloss a happy birthday:

LOVE HOW IT’S MORE ABOUT TAY THAN KARLIE IN THIS PIC

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Funny, how this happened before Karlie’s Swarovski campaign 8 days later:

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After that, Star Magazine released their most hated celebs list and look who’s number 1:

#1 Most Hated Celebrity: Taylor Swift. Who would have thought that America’s sweetheart would turn out to be Hollywood’s secret snake in the grass? Answer: Katy Perry, Kim Kardashian, Calvin Harris – and pretty much every man she’s ever dated! Taylor’s growing crowd of detractors are clamoring that her good girl image is just that… a carefully crafted fantasy, and that she’s actually a conniving mean girl who, most annoyingly of all, relentlessly plays the victim.

2. Kim Kardashian
3. Kanye West
4. Kylie Jenner
5. Kris Jenner
6. Khloe Kardashian
7. Kourtney Kardashain
8. Beyonce
9. Justin Bieber
10. Madonna
11. Jaden Smith
12. Katy Perry
13. Bill Cosby
14. Gwyneth Paltrow
15. Chris Brown
16. Ariana Grande
17. Mariah Carey
18. Miley Cyrus
19. Tori Spelling
20. Bethenny Frankel
21. Lindsay Lohan
22. LeAnn Rimes
23. Rosie O’Donnell
24. Katherine Heigl
25. Shia LaBeouf
26. Angelina Jolie
27. Kristen Stewart
28. John Mayer
29. Ashton Kutcher
30. John Travolta
31. Anne Hathaway
32. Ben Affleck
33. Mark Salling
34. James Franco
35. Megan Fox

GO STAR MAGAZINE

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Later on, some tea got exposed: Former faux friend squad member Hailee Steinfeld revealed some secrets about the faux friend squad omfg:

“I think people think we spend a lot more time together than we actually do!”

WOW HAILEE FUCKING EXPOSED THAT BITCH WOW DAMN SHIT

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Moreover, Tay continued her Purpose 2.0 tour and performed at a party (which she attended with Karlie!!!) for Mike Hess (who is he? lol) with Nelly:

OH GOSH SHE LOOKS SO FUCKING AWKWARD UGHHHH

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After that mess, Taylor wished her former tour-mate/faux-friend Shawn Mendes (who she hasn’t even seen since the 1989 tour ended lol) a happy birthday by badly lip-synching one of his songs so fucking embarrassing:

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Also, it’s funny how she’s wishing him a happy birthday before this song was released:

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Also, I found some receipts about Tay and Shawn’s supposed “friendship”:

Not only were they tour-mates, their record labels are also connected through Universal Music Group take a look!

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Moving on now, Tom got an Instagram and this was his 1st pic:

He's back!

A post shared by Tom Hiddleston (@twhiddleston) on

HE MAKES LOKI LOOK LIKE A JOKI NOW LIKE HE LOOKS SO TERRIBLE NOW

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Then, something random happened: Taylor Lautner decided to namedrop Tay when promoting Scream Queens oh dear lol:

“You dated Taylor Swift, I remember that!” Lea exclaimed. “Should we talk about it? Didn’t she write a song about you?”

Taylor suddenly got super shy, replying, “That’s hilarious…that’s what she does. She writes songs.”

Lea then asks if it’s the song “about the sweater and the hat” and Taylor says he “has no idea!” but admits, “It’s good music. I listen to it.”

OH GOSH WHY ARE YOU STILL TRYING TO PROVE YOU’RE STRAIGHT?

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After that, Tay was spotted hitting the gym and boy does she look like a trainwreck lol:

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IDK WHAT’S WORST? HER HAIR OR HER CAMELTOE UGHHHH

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Later on in August, Robert Downey Jr. decided to welcome Tom to Instagram by shading his fauxlationship with Tay ahahahahhahahahah

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AND, THIS IS WHY I LOVE ROBERT DOWNEY JR. PEOPLE!!!!

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Tay then tried to do more damage control by “congratulating” the final five girls oh my dear lol:

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Moreover, Tom was asked again about his fauxlationship with that cunt and this is what he said this time lol

“We all live in a world where every phone has a camera and there’s nothing new, really, about the spotlight on me, I think that’s what happens when you’re a public figure,” Tom said. “I’ve learned that there are many sides to a story, and that sometimes there are a lot of stories out there which are false and the hardest thing is to try to not let those falsehoods affect your own life, that’s what I would say.”

FALSE STORIES HUH? ARE YOU INSISTING THAT YOUR FAUXLATIONSHIP IS FAKE, TOM?

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Later on, Karlie got in some hot water after she said this about Kim:

”I think she’s been a lovely person to me in the past.”

Karlie then tried to do damage control by saying all of this hahhahahahah:

“I WILL NEVER BE THE GIRL THAT YOU CAN USE TO PIT WOMAN AGAINST EACH OTHER”

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Also, it’s funny how this happened before Karlie’s interview with Vogue Australia:

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SERIOUSLY THAT’S WHAT HER SPREAD WAS ABOUT? ON HOW TO TAKE THE PERFECT SELFIE?

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Now back to Tay’s excessive damage control tour, she donated $1 million to Louisiana flood relief:

Taylor Swift is donating $1 million to Louisiana flood relief following rains that led to widespread flooding in the state this past week, damaging thousands of homes and resulting in the deaths of at least 11 people.

The 26-year-old singer told the Associated Press on Tuesday that Louisiana residents had welcomed her warmly when she started off The 1989 World Tour there last year.

“We began The 1989 World Tour in Louisiana, and the wonderful fans there made us feel completely at home,” Taylor said in her statement. “The fact that so many people in Louisiana have been forced out of their own homes this week is heartbreaking.”

“I encourage those who can to help out and send your love and prayers their way during this devastating time,” she added.

Over 30,000 people have been rescued from the flooding since Friday, according to Fox News.

OH GOSH THIS REMINDS ME OF NEVEL DOING DAMAGE CONTROL ON ICARLY

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To make things even more hilarious, Tay wished happy birthday to another one of her famewhore faux friends Blake Lively:

IDK WHAT’S MORE AWKWARD ABOUT THIS PIC? THE KOALA OR HOW THEY’RE NOT EVEN LOOKING AT THE CAMERA WHICH ONE OF THEIR PUBLICISTS OBVIOUSLY TOOK

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Funny, how Tay wished her faux friend a happy birthday before this film comes out on DVD & Bluray in September:

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And, before her other film All I see is you premieres at TIFF in the same month:

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BTW THIS IS A FILM WHERE BLAKE IS GONNA PLAY A BLIND WOMAN

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Later on, some stupid swifties lost their shit, because they saw Meredith the cat from an window what the actual fuck:

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After that stupid thing, Tay was spotted leaving the gym once again:

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WHAT IS UP WITH THOSE SHOES? AND, WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE SHE NEVER SWEATS AFTER SHE LEAVES?

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To do more damage control, Tay was actually spotted with her faux black friend Todrick Hall (who she hasn’t even seen since April lmfao):

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OH GOSH THEY LOOK SO OUT OF PLACE, CONFUSED AND JUST RANDOM TOGETHER. LIKE, TAY I KNOW YOU’RE TRYING TO PROVE YOU’RE NOT A RACIST, BUT IS THIS TRULY THE WAY BITCH?

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Also, it’s funny how they’re hanging out after this came out:

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At the VMAS, Kanye kind of referenced Taylor in his speech:

In his speech, Kanye mentioned Taylor Swift and their feud, saying, “Like people come to me like ‘damn, that’s right, take Taylor,’ like bro, I love all y’all. That’s why I called her.”

MAN, I WANTED MORE KANYE LIKE WHY MAN WHY

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After that, Taylor did more damage control, by going to Jury duty and asking to be dismissed later on wtf:

Taylor Swift has been dismissed by the courts in Nashville, Tennessee because she told a judge she could not be impartial in an aggravated rape/kidnapping case, TMZ reports.

The case in question involved a man who penetrated a woman with a blunt object. Taylor told the judge she has a pending case in Colorado against former radio host David Mueller. David allegedly fondled Taylor backstage during a concert, and thus couldn’t be impartial sitting on the jury of a different sexual assault case.

SO, YOU’LL FORCIBLY DONATE MONEY TO A RAPE VICTIM, BUT YOU WON’T PARTICIPATE IN A RAPE CASE

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Moreover, it was reported that Taylor “went” to her faux friend Blake’s baby shower lol:

Blake Lively and her husband Ryan Reynolds are getting ready for the arrival of their second child and they celebrated with a baby shower on Saturday afternoon (August 27)!

The 29-year-old actress was joined by friends and family, including Taylor Swift who made it to the party before she had to head to jury duty!

According to E! News, the event was hosted at the Bedford Post Inn in Westchester, NY.

Guests arrived around 11 A.M. and enjoyed the 90 minute gathering, with some friends heading back to Blake and Ryan‘s house after the event.

THEN, WHERE ARE THE PICS OF THIS SUPPOSED EVENT IF IT EVEN HAPPENED? LIKE, WE ALL KNOW BLAKE NEVER MISSES A CHANCE TO LEECH OFF OF TAYLOR’S FAME SO WHERE ARE THE PICS GUYS? OR DID YOU GUYS MAKE UP THIS STORY, BECAUSE BLAKE HAS 2 MOVIES COMING OUT?

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ALSO, IF BLAKE PULLS A JAIME KING & MAKES TAYLOR THE GODMOTHER OF HER 2ND CHILD, I’M GONNA KILL THAT GIRL I WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED, SHE USED HER 1ST BABY FOR HER STUPID SLAVERY SITE SO….

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Moreover, Kourtney Kardashian decided to voice her opinion on the Kimye vs. Tay fight:

“It’s her husband, and he’s family. The truth is the truth, so why not let it be known?”

I THINK THIS IS THE SMARTEST THING THAT SHE HAS EVER SAID LIKE WOW

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Taylor then finally stepped out with Martha Hunt (who she hasn’t hung out with since July lol):

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WTF WHO WEARS THAT TYPE OF JACKET TO A GYM AND DO THEY SERIOUSLY GO TO THE GYM, BECAUSE NONE OF THEM STILL LOOK SWEATY

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Ironic how Martha hungout with Tay before this little thing:

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After that, Tay did more damage control by actually getting involved with Jaime King oh dear gosh:

Dear all- at 20 weeks our son was diagnosed with Transposition of the Great Arteries AKA TGA. He had a major heart surgery, that was terrifying, and traumatic for us as parents, for our family. Only a few of our best friends knew. I felt that I had to protect him in fear of the unknown, fear he would not make it. We felt isolated & confused. @taylorswift does so many selfless acts that go unnoticed because she does them silently, from such a great place of unconditional giving. As the Godmother of Leo Thames for his birthday she gave an incredible donation to the people that saved his life Dr. Allistar Phillips and his brilliant team. It made us realize that silence cannot connect other parents & people going through these issues. TS knew that by giving back in this way would be the greatest gift one could give to us, to Leo Thames and to all of those with congenital heart issues. She came to the ICU to comfort us, to hold and bond with him with such grace & strength. Our gift back is to share our story that anyone that is going through this is not alone, we understand & want to stand up to bring awareness in the greatest way possible. Leo Thames is the strongest, healthiest boy because of this team. He will live a full and whole life & never have to look back. Thank you Taylor & to EVERYONE listed on this letter we love you. With gratitude and humbleness 💜 Jaime and Kyle

A post shared by Jaime King (@jaime_king) on

WOW DRAGGING A POOR KID INTO YOUR DAMAGE CONTROL TOUR WOW BITCH

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Funny, how this happened before this was announced:

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IRONIC HOW THE FILM IS TITLED BITCH

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That’s it for August. Wow, this damage control tour is just showing how manipulative and deceitful Taylor is. Like, dragging your “godson” into your mess even though you haven’t seen him since January of this year like wtf cunt. Also, I cannot wait to cover September that’s gonna be a good one haha. Bye guys and I’ll be back later one with the September post!

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