I reviewed the rest of September 2016!

Hello, hello, hello my amazing and beautiful readers! Nat is back with more news about everyone’s favorite closeted homegirl Taylor Alison Swift. Today, I’m gonna review the rest of what happened in September. So, strap on those seat-belts, because this is gonna be a bumpy ride! Good luck getting past this one!

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On September 15th, Taylor documented her “girls night” with faux friend Martha Hunt and her Tay’s cat Meredith wtf:

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Also, it’s funny how this happened before Martha’s new Victoria’s Secret pics came out:

and before this was announced:

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Moving on, Kelsea Ballerini (who hasn’t even seen Tay since April lol) tweeted this:

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Ironic how Kelsea tweeted this before her new single came out:

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The next day things got pretty terrible for Tay: Her ex-beard Calvin Harris released his new single My Way oh dear hahahahhahhahah:

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This is what Calvin said in an interview when asked what the song is about:

“[The] song’s kind of about breaking out of a situation that you thought was a good thing. Then, you’re way more comfortable out of it,” Calvin told iHeartRadio. “And it could be anything. It could be a job, or it could be a relationship. I had kind of the idea for the concept for a few years, but I didn’t know how to work out how it sounded.”

A SITUATION HUH? KIND OF LIKE YOUR FAUXLATIONSHIP WITH THAT BITCH?

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Then in random news, Reese Witherspoon decided to namedrop Taylor in an interview while promoting her new movie Sing:

In Reese‘s upcoming animated film Sing, she voices a pig with 25 piglets who enters a singing competition. Reese had to perform her own versions of Taylor‘s “Shake It Off” and Katy‘s “Firework” for the role – but she wasn’t sure if she did the songs justice!

“I actually told both of them,” Reese told E! News at the 2016 Toronto International Film Festival. “I saw them and said, ‘Please don’t hold it against me because I did the best I could.’ I was like, ‘I have really a lot of respect for how hard you girls work.’”

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After that mess, Tay was spotted hanging out in Nashville with her mom Andrea and her faux friend Lily Aldridge lol:

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TAY QUIT STICKING OUT YOUR TOUNGE LIKE THAT AND LOL AT LILY’S FAKE SMILE

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Funny, how we got this hangout before Lily’s interviews with Forbes, Elle UK & The Telegraph came out:

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Moreover, Taylor continued her damage control tour by donating to Louisiana again:

Taylor Swift pledged to donate $1 million to Louisiana flood relief earlier this year and she’s following through on her promise!

The 26-year-old superstar has already given $50,000 to the Greater Baton Rouge Food Bank and just made another donation.

Taylor gave an additional $50,000 to Ascension Public Schools, which still has five schools that are closed due to damages from the flood.

“We are overwhelmed by the generosity of those wanting to help our students. We are particularly honored that Taylor Swift is reaching out to us. Her investment in our children will have far reaching impacts as we recover from the flood,” the district’s superintendent David Alexander said in a statement.

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Continuing on her pathetic little damage control tour, she congratulated America’s Got Talent winner Grace Vanderwaal on her win oh dear:

I WONDER WHO GAVE HER THOSE FLOWERS? TAYLOR OR TREE?

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Also, I need to tell you some things:

Remember, how I told you that Taylor’s record label is Big Machine Records?

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Well, guess who distributes Big Machine Records!?

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And, guess what channel airs America’s Got Talent!?

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Moving onto her famewhore ex-beard: Tom Hiddleston decided to name drop the cunt during the Emmys red carpet:

The 35-year-old actor was asked a question about his ex-girlfriend Taylor Swift on the red carpet at the Emmys and he politely answered.

Tom was asked by People if he and Taylor are still friends.

“Yes. Yes, we are,” he replied with a smile.

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After that hilarious lie, Tom lost the Emmy to Courtney B. Vance who rightly deserved it:

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GO COURTNEY B. VANCE!

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Then, Luke Windsor, I mean a source claimed that Tom got flirty with Quantico star Priyanka Chopra wtf:

The 35-year-old The Night Manager actor, who just split from girlfriend Taylor Swift, and the 34-year-old Quantico actress were “openly flirting with each other” at the Governor’s Ball, according to E! News.

“Tom had his arm around her and held her close. Afterwards, Tom and Priyanka talked closely and were holding hands at one point for a few moments,” an eyewitness said. “Priyanka fixed Tom‘s bow-tie and then the two kissed on both cheeks.”

The stars were seen giving each other their phones to exchange numbers before leaving the event.

“Priyanka and Tom said goodbye and she told him that she will see him later,” the source revealed. “They left the event about a minute after each other.”

OH GOSH LUKE, I KNOW YOU’RE TRYING TO PROVE TO THE WORLD THAT YOUR BF IS STRAIGHT, BUT DON’T DRAG PRIYANKA INTO THIS STUNT JUST DON’T

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Funny, how we got all of this news about Tay & Priyanka before Tom’s Gucci photoshoot came out:

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WHY DO THE DOGS LOOK BETTER THAN HIM IN THESE PICS?

And, his Interview Magazine photoshoot too:

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IS HE TRYING TO GET CAST IN MAGIC MIKE 3 OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

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Furthermore, Austin Swift decided to namedrop his sister too oh wow:

“When we were kids, I saw Taylor write songs every day for years when there was no one to play them to,” Austin told People.

Austin went on to reveal that when he was in middle school, the siblings spent their spring break in Nashville, where he remembers “watching her go door-to-door dropping off demo CD’s at labels that never called.”

“[I] was there when she was performing at karaoke contests and in the corners of parties with the same enthusiasm she now plays to stadiums full of her fans,” he added. “Having seen that example, how much goes in, how long it took … That’s always going to be bedrock for who I am and who I want to be.”

OH GOSH QUIT LYING ABOUT HOW YOUR SISTER HAD TO “STRUGGLE” TO GET WHERE SHE IS WE ALL KNOW YOUR FATHER BOUGHT HER SINGING CAREER FOR HER SO AUSTIN

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Moving on, it’s now reported that Zac Efron wants to date the cunt what the actual fuck?

“He has been letting his friends know that he is down to see what Taylor is all about. He likes her music and thinks she is sexy so he is telling friends he is curious what it would be like to have Taylor Swift as a girlfriend.”

OH GOSH WERE HIS PUBLICISTS ON CRACK WHEN THEY WROTE THIS?

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Also Zac, please don’t sign that contract! You could do better than to fake date that bitch!

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In some more news about the stupid bitch, Taylor was spotted partying at Apple Music exec Jimmy Iovine’s wife Liberty Ross’ party:

She was also spotted partying with Oscar winner Gwyneth Paltrow wtf:

Gwyneth Paltrow was dancing with Taylor Swift and hanging out with her a lot,” a source told Us Weekly. “They seemed like good friends. Taylor was in an amazing mood and very social.”

THEN, WHERE ARE THE PICS AND VIDEOS OF THESE 2 SUPPOSEDLY “DANCING” TOGETHER THEN

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Also, it’s funny how we’re getting this news after this was announced:

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Oh, and the real reason why Taylor was at this party:

You all remember her little Apple deal right?

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Moreover, Kim Kardashian decided to diss Tay once again ahahhahahhaha:

“Ugh, do we really have to talk about Taylor Swift?…I’m so over it. If it were up to Kanye, it all would probably never have come out. He can handle it, he has no hard feelings. He doesn’t even really care. I just wanted to protect my husband. I saw him getting a lot of sh*t….It wasn’t even about a look or anything, or to have this feud — it was like, ‘OK, here’s the truth.’ Done. Let’s all move on. I feel like I don’t want to talk about her anymore.”

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Speaking of her gay husband, Kanye West decided to make his audicence in Nashville repeat the famous line he wrote about Taylor in which she denied that she approved of it even though Kim recorded their phone convo in which she did approve of it lol and some shouted fuck Taylor Swift hahahahhahaha:

GO KANYE & NASHVILLE

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Later on in September, Tay was spotted hanging out with her faux BFF Cara Delevingne (Even though, they haven’t seen each other since July lol):

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LOVE HOW THEY BARELY LOOK HAPPY TOGETHER AND WTF ARE THOSE 2 WEARING

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Also, Cara was spotted going into Tay’s NYC apartment along with her publicists:

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FUNNY HOW WE’RE GETTING THIS HANGOUT AFTER CARA’S PUMA AD CAME OUT:

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Moving on, Lorde (wait when was the last time she’s seen the bitch? lol) was also papped going out of Tay’s apartment lol:

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Ironic how we got this photo op a month after this was announced:

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Also, Lorde was also at that dinner with Tay and Cara alongside her other faux friends like Jack Antonoff (who she hasn’t even seen since April), model and Bradley Cooper’s former beard Suki Waterhouse (wtf) and actresses Sienna Miller & Brooke Shields (huh?)

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I LOVE HOW A LOT OF THEM LOOK DRUNK, THIRSTY AND COMPLETELY UNHAPPY

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Let me tell you why this random bunch of bitches all hungout together:

Jack just worked on a project with his sister:

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Jack is also helping Lorde with her new album:

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Also, look what I found out about Jack!

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And, you all remember who the queen of Sony is right?

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Onto Suki Waterhouse: this was just announced for her!

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On why Brooke Shields randomly showed up:

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Finally on why Sienna Miller was there: her new movie Live By Night had a trailer release!

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After this random dinner, it was reported that Tay & Calvin are “friends” again if they were even “friends” in the very 1st place:

It sounds like Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris have buried the hatchet!

According to TMZ, the 26-year-old “Wildest Dreams” singer and 32-year-old Scottish DJ are back on speaking terms.

The former couple reportedly started texting again and “put an end to their drama.”

It’s not known who sent the first text, but things seem to be cool between them now. Although, this does not mean that they are back together.

In fact, they allegedly haven’t talked on the phone or seen each other in person. It’s all via text.

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OH GOSH CALVIN WE ALL KNOW YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE YOUR SINGLE GOT TO #1, BECAUSE IT’S CURRENTLY #24 HAHAHHAHHAHAHHA

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Moreover, Blake Lively gave birth to her 2nd child and guess what she did merely seconds after her child was born? No, she didn’t name her baby. She decided to make the birth about Taylor in the article instead of you know talking about her new born child!

Taylor Swift has reportedly just rushed to a Manhattan hospital following the birth of her BFF Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds‘ new baby, according to Page Six.

The baby, whose gender and name are yet unknown, marks the second child for the actors, who are already parents to their 21-month-old daughter James.

Last month, the couple threw a baby shower at the Bedford Post Inn in Westchester, NY, and Tay made sure to attend!

Blake and Taylor‘s friendship goes way back to December 2015 when the two besties hung out in Australia together and shared lots of jumping pictures and koala pictures to prove it!

The pair also had a blast in bikinis this past Fourth of July at Taylor‘s annual celebrity-filled party at her home in Rhode Island.

Congrats to the happy couple and the newest member of Taylor‘s squad!

OH GOSH WHO WROTE THIS ARTICLE? TAYLOR, TREE OR BLAKE? AND, IDK WHAT’S FUNNIER? HOW THE MEDIA THINKS THEY’VE BEEN “BEST FRIENDS ” FOR 50 YEARS EVEN THOUGH THEY’VE ONLY HUNGOUT TOGETHER IN DECEMBER 2015 & JULY 2016 OR HOW THEY’R ALREADY CLAIMING HOW THE BABY IS GONNA BE TAY’S NEW FAUX FRIEND

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Also, I’m surprised there hasn’t been an article about how Taylor is gonna be the “godmother” to Blake and Ryan’s new baby. But, don’t worry guys it’s coming don’t worry.

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That’s it for the messed up month of September. Oh gosh, Idk how her dumbass fans aren’t seeing through her deceitful act she’s putting on. Like, how dumb are you guys? Like seriously. But, I already feel so bad for Blake & Ryan’s baby. That baby is gonna be exploited for Taylor’s damage control tour. Blake, Ryan & Taylor can all go fuck themselves. Also, Blake is starting to make Jaime King look like America’s Sweetheart smh. But, oh gosh, I wonder what October is gonna bring. What will Taylor do next? Put on a concert for Louisiana? Pull a Beyonce & release a surprise album for her idiot fans? I wouldn’t be surprised if she did that. I mean, she already ripped off Lana Del Rey for 1989 so ripping off Beyonce wouldn’t bother her in the least. But oh gosh, I hope Zac doesn’t sign that contract. He would not only be ruining his career by doing that, but also out himself in the process, so please don’t do it. Goodbye everyone and I’ll be back soon with more info about that bitch!

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