Good morning my amazing readers! Nat is back with more news about everyone’s favorite closeted lesbian Taylor Alison Swift! Today, I’m gonna review the rest of what happened in October and I’m gonna talk about a lot of the shady shit that happened to the stupid bitch in this month. Let me get started on that post for you:
On October 10th, the paps followed Tay’s faux friend Cara Delevingne after she called them:
AWWW IS SOMEONE UPSET BECAUSE HER FILM CAREER ISN’T GOING THE WAY IT’S SUPPOSED TO?
The next night, Cara was spotted Tay along with new basic faux friends Dakota Johnson & Suki Waterhouse:
ALL OF HER FAUX FRIEND OUTINGS ARE GETTING SO BASIC AND AWKWARD BY THE MINUTE
On October 12th, Tay attended a “secret” Kings of Leon show with a lot of her faux friends:
OH GOSH IDK WHAT’S MORE AWKWARD: HOW FAKE THIS ALL LOOKS OR HOW UNHAPPY THEY ALL SEEM
Now let me tell you why Tay went to the Kings of Leon concert and why Lily and Martha hungout with her:
I bet y’all are wondering, why the hell was Taylor Swift at a Kings of Leon concert? That doesn’t seem like her type of music. Well, her and the band are both a part of RCA! Take a look!
Also, their new single Around the World just dropped:
Moreover, the music video had also just dropped and look who the special guest is in the video:
They also released their new single Reverend came out:
and their new album WALLS came out on October 14th (the day after the concert):
And, guess what!? Their new album went straight to #1!!!!!
A congrats is in order for Kings of Leon!
The guys – Caleb, Nathan, Jared, and Matthew Followill – just scored their first-ever No. 1 album on the Billboard 200 chart with their seventh studio album, Walls.
It sold 77,000 equivalent album units, with 68,000 of those in traditional album sales.
In case you don’t know, the Billboard 200 chart ranks the most popular albums of the week based on multi-metric consumption, including traditional album sales, track equivalent albums (TEA), and streaming equivalent albums (SEA).
Walls was released on October 14 via RCA Records.
GEEZ I WONDER HOW IT WENT STRAIGHT TO #1?
Now onto why Lily hungout with Tay lol:
Lily decided to do what she does best and name drop Taylor at the God’s Love We Deliver 2016 Golden Heart Awards oh dear lol:
“We are a really nice group of women who support each other and really, genuinely have each others’ back and it’s awesome,” Aldridge tells us. “That’s something to be about.”
THEN, WHERE THE HELL WERE SOME OF YOU WHEN TAY WAS BEING ATTACKED BY KIMYE WHY DIDN’T SOME OF Y’ALL DEFEND HER THEN? ALSO, DON’T TALK ABOUT HOW YOU GUYS “SUPPORT” EACH OTHER AND WHATNOT WHEN THIS EXISTS:
Also, this was just announced about Lily and Martha:
And, as to why Lorde was hanging out with Tay:
Also, don’t forget that Lorde is a Republic Records artist and you all know what that means:
Now onto some Kanye news:
Apparently, some stupid swifties attacked Kanye, because some new lyrics leaked from Kanye’s song about Taylor oh gosh lol:
On Thursday, an earlier recording of West’s song surfaced online, and the controversial lyrics involving the “Shake It Off” singer and his ex Amber Rose contrast from what the rapper changed them to in the final version of the track.
“I feel like Taylor Swift still owe me sex / I made that bitch famous,” West is heard rapping on the demo. He then repeats part of the verse but subs in Rose’s name. “I feel like Amber Rose still owe me sex / Why? I made that bitch famous / Not really, but somewhat famous,” he raps.
YOU KNOW SWIFTIES, MAYBE HE DECIDED TO USE THE OTHER LYRICS BECAUSE THEY PROBABLY SOUNDED BETTER AND SO HE DECIDED TO USE THOSE INSTEAD OF THIS ONE SO SWIFTIES
Anyway, moving on now. On October 13th, Tay was spotted going to a Eliot Summer concert with faux friends Suki Waterhouse, Cara Delevigne, Dakota Johnson, girlfriend I mean special friend Karlie Kloss and new faux friends Serena Williams and Zoe Kravitz (what the actual fuck?)
WHY THE HELL DO THEY ALL LOOK SO UNHAPPY TOGETHER? LIKE CHEER UP BITCHES! YOU’RE ALL SUPPOSED TO BE “BEST FRIENDS” SO CHEER THE FUCK UP!
Now, let me tell you all the real reason why this outing happened:
This was just announced about Suki:
In a city as sunny and carefree as Los Angeles, the British have to stick together, and that’s exactly how Suki Waterhouse and Poppy Jamie became friends. Now, they’re taking their relationship to the next level by launching a business: Called Pop& Suki, it’s a line of jewelry and handbags inspired by their friendship. The bag offerings include a camera bag and shopper tote in cotton candy, noir and cognac colorways, and can be made personal with monograms, straps and leather attachments. Jewelry is equally customizable; a paperclip-style chain can be worn as a necklace, bracelet, anklet or body chain, with a choice of charms of crystal add-ons.
As to why Cara has been hanging out with Tay:
Her upcoming flop Valerian had just released a poster:
Her Rimmel London ad had just come out:
I can’t describe what being a part of the Rimmel Family means to me, it is such an honour. I grew up with these images and commercials. It is a brand that honestly represents the London Girl, me! I am so excited to see my first @rimmellondonuk #ScandaleyesReloaded campaign come to life! So much more to come …. Just you wait… !!! I’ve reloaded my scandalous eyes, have you?
WAIT CARA, I THOUGHT YOU WERE RETIRING FROM MODELING SO THAT YOU COULD BECOME A FULL TIME ACTRESS? OH WAIT, I FORGOT YOUR ACTING CAREER IS JUST AS BAD AS YOUR COKE ADDICTION
Also, Cara is getting her own documentary wtf:
Model, actress, Instagram star, and famous maker of funny faces Cara Delevingne can now add another notch to her growing CV: documentary subject. The forthcoming film, The Cara Project, found a distributor, as it was reported yesterday, and promises a window into both her career trajectory from model to actress and a behind-the-scenes glimpse at her vibrant, outsize personality.
OMFG I WOULD TOTALLY WANT TO WATCH A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT CARA DELEVINGNE
As to why and how Dakota has been hanging out with her new “bestie” Tay:
This was just announced about her franchise 50 Shades of Grey:
Grab the nearest brown paper bag. This news might induce hyper ventilating.
With the release of Fifty Shades Darker now looming closer than ever, fans of the hot and heavy book-to-cinema franchise are eager to know every detail surrounding the sequel to Fifty Shades of Grey. While early September brought the tantalizing first look at the drama starring Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan, soon audiences will have the opportunity to get up close and personal with their most intimate moments.
Director James Foley revealed Friday virtual reality technology is being utilized to bring Fifty Shades Darker to life, Deadline reports.
“Yeah, there’s marketing materials for behind-the scenes [of Fifty Shades Darker], where after we finished shooting for the day, the actors would stay over and VR people would re-create a facsimile of the scene,” Foley told audience members during a VR event on the Paramount Pictures lot.
Further specifics of the project were not disclosed, but we can only imagine the hype to get a taste of Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey’s romance will only increase tenfold once it’s released.
WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT TO SEE THAT SHIT OMFG
Also, the Fifty Shades Darker Instagram has been releasing sneak peeks of the movie:
OH GOSH THIS MOVIE LOOKS TERRIBLE AND I PRAY THAT IT FLOPS
Oh and there’s more as to why Tay has decided to include Dakota in her faux friend squad:
As you all Tay’s record label Big Machine Records is distributed by Universal Music Group:
Well, look what I found out about 50 Shades of Grey:
Also, this was announced about Karlie:
Karlie Kloss’ talents know no bounds.
Amongst her numerous catwalk appearances and scoring the most coveted fashion campaigns, she still manages to find time to teach girls how to code, host her own YouTube channel ‘Klossy’ and attend classes at NYU.
Showing no signs of slowing down any time soon the 24-year-old entrepreneur is now moving into television. And no, it’s not presenting America’s Next Top Model.
Instead, Karlie will be starring in a new science programme landing on Netflix next Spring: Bill Nye Saves the World. Coolest science teacher, ever? Er, yes. She will also be joined by fellow correspondents Joanna Hausmann, Nazeem Hussain, Emily Calandrelli and Derek Muller – discussing the impact science has had on everything from religion, culture to politics.
Bill’s fashionable sidekick will be offering her own ‘nerdy’ insights, teasing fans on social media about her new role.
‘We’ll be talking about every nerdy thing you can think of – so be sure to tune in,’ the model announced on Instagram.
WHAT THE ACTUAL THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
And this too:
Now onto why Serena and Zoe hungout with the cunt:
According to Blind Gossip, Taylor is trying to do damage control by “befriending” people of color omg:
Also, Serena’s Fader cover came out:
And, Zoe has this film coming out in a month:
Now onto why Taylor went to an Eliot Sumner concert (who TF is he?):
He’s a part of Universal Music Group:
Moving onto Tay’s pathetic damage control tour, Tay donated to Louisiana again ughhh:
Taylor Swift has allocated the funds remaining from her $1 million donation to flood relief in Louisiana.
After massive flooding earlier this year, the 26-year-old superstar pledged to give $1 million to causes across the state, which has included schools and food banks.
This month, Taylor donated funds to Convoy of Hope, The Life of a Single Mom and YWCA Greater Baton Rouge as well as $100,000 to Habitat for Humanity, which aims to rebuild 100 homes in Baton Rouge by the end of next year.
“The generous donation from Taylor Swift could not have come at a better time for our organization…Thank you, Taylor Swift, and to all those at the Taylor Swift Foundation, for your kindness and generosity in these challenging times,” YWCA Baton Rouge, said on their website.
Now onto her “visiting” her faux friends Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds:
Apparently, about 3 days ago, Tay “visited” her faux friends Blake and Ryan in NYC:
Since giving birth to her second child, Blake Lively has been enjoying her private life in upstate New York with husband Ryan Reynolds. Even though she hasn’t been spotted out and about in NYC or Los Angeles doesn’t mean these cities aren’t coming to her! E! News can exclusively reveal that one of Blake’s besties, Taylor Swift , visited the parents of two last weekend.
A source tells us exclusively that the “Style” songstress traveled to Pound Ridge, New York, and spent three or four days with the couple. T. Swift also visited the couple at the hospital shortly after Blake gave birth.
3-4 DAYS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK AND HOW COME WE NEVER GET PICS OF HER “VISITING” BLAKE AND RYAN LIKE WHAT IS GOING ON FOLKS?
Also, this dvd just came out for Blake:
Moving on, Tay decided to tease her terrible concert in Austin, Texas oh gosh:
Moreover, Taylor announced that she’s opening an exhibit in a NYC museum with a lot of her personal items in them wtf ew:
Taylor Swift fans in New York City are in for a treat starting November 18.
From that date through February, museum-goers will be able to indulge themselves in an exhibit curated by the 26-year-old singer herself, featuring items such as handwritten lyrics, the Moonman involved in the famous Kanye West interruption, her elegant Met gala gowns, AND stage costumes from her 1989 World Tour.
The exhibit, called “The Taylor Swift Experience,” started at the Grammy Museum in Los Angeles back in 2014 and is now temporarily switching up its location due to its high demand – it’s the museum’s most popular exhibit of all time, according to Billboard!
Fans can purchase tickets early through Ticketmaster here.
OH GOSH HER IDIOT FANS ARE GONNA PAY FOR THIS SHIT SERIOUSLY
Moving on, in New York, Tay decided to close down an entire gym all to herself instead of being the selfless person she claims to be and open it for others:
REALLY TAY REALLY
Oh and we later found out that Tay had a cold and guess what I found out, too:
Later on, Tay performed in Austin and decided to sing her ex-beard’s song This is what you came for:
WOW SHE SOUNDS TERRIBLE WITH & WITHOUT A COLD
Moving on, Taylor and her army of skanks decided to make Drake’s birthday about them oh gosh:
WHY THE HELL ARE ALL THESE BITCHES DRESSED UP AS HOOKERS AND STRIPPERS?
Funny, how Haim is hanging out with Tay (after not hanging out since July), before this was announced about one of the sisters:
From the album’s co-producers, BloodPop and Mark Ronson, to Josh Homme, Haim bassist Este Haim, Father John Misty, Florence Welch and a number of players in Sharon Jones’ band — not to mention two rock scions (Harper Simon and Sean Lennon) — we took a deep dive into the liner notes of the album, to find out who pitched in on which songs. (All tracks produced by Gaga, BloodPop and Ronson unless otherwise noted.)
Also, about Karlie hanging out with her girlfriend, this was announced about Karlie:
Online mega-retailer eBay recently teamed up with social influencers, including supermodel Karlie Kloss, to highlight the brand’s focus on new items.
And, about famewhore and terrible Halston Sage (who the fuck is this bitch?) hanging out with Tay, she’s currently promoting this:
And, about why Taylor randomly decided to show up at Drake’s party, this was announced:
Also, guess what!? Drake is a Republic Records artist as well!
That’s it for the misadventures of Taylor Alison Swift (for now). Oh gosh, this bitch just keeps stooping to new lows like I don’t know how her stupid ass fans aren’t seeing, but man. But, oh gosh really Taylor? Using Serena and Zoe like that so that you could do damage control like seriously? How do people not see she’s a racist bitch? Also, why do you swifties still like her? Like, it’s obvious she doesn’t care about any of you and she just uses you guys for your money and whatnot. I’m still waiting on how she inspires all of you. Like, how does she inspire you guys? By attacking other woman or refusing to come out of the closet? Like, which one is it guys? Anyway, bye guys and I’ll be back for November to tell you more about the stupid cunt. Bye guys!