I report the rest of November 2016!

Good morning my amazing and beautiful readers. I’m finally back with more news about everyone’s favorite drama queen Taylor Alison Swift. Today in her dramatic fairytale adventures of doom, I’m gonna talk about why she and her ex-beards Calvin Harris and Tom Hiddleston are on good terms (wtf), her reportedly shading Katy Perry at the Met Ball (petty bitch), Eddie Redmayne denying that they ever dated (lol), The AMAs exposing Tay and Drake’s publicity stunt (omg) and how she made Gigi and Selena’s AMAS news about herself. (Never change Tay) Let me serve that one right up for you:

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On November 14th, it was announced that Tay was on “good terms” with ex-beards, Calvin Harris and Tom Hiddleston hahhahahahahhahaa:

A new report claims that the 26-year-old singer has already written songs about the 35-year-old actor, as well as her other ex-boyfriend Calvin Harris.

But, they reportedly aren’t mean-spirited breakup tracks.

“[Taylor] has spoken to Adam on text,” a source told E! News, adding that it’s less about “getting back together” and “more of a friendly check-in.”

The source also said, “She also is on good terms with Tom at this point.”

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Also, it’s funny how it was announced that she was on good terms with both guys, because this was just announced about Cal:

Omnia Las Vegas NYE

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and this trailer was just released for Tom:

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Moving on, according to annoying Bravo famewhore Andy Cohen, Tay reportedly shaded Katy Perry ughhhhhh:

“Why I felt I needed to get involved I will never know (maybe I was auditioning for her squad?) but I innocently said exactly the wrong thing to her, which was, ‘Your friend Katy is sitting in the corner and there’s plenty of room around her,’” he wrote.

Taylor then reportedly responded, “Katy who?”

“I said, ‘Perry,’ at which point she clearly let me know that she’s the exact opposite of her friend,” Andy went on.

He added that Taylor asked him not to repeat the exchange on his show. However, “She didn’t threaten me about putting it in my book,” he explained. “So here we are.”

WOW, IF THIS IS ALL TRUE (WHICH I WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED ABOUT, BECAUSE BAD BLOOD HELLO), THEN TAY,

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Moreover, Oscar winner Eddie Redmayne was just on Andy’s talk show Watch What Happens Live and was asked about those pesky dating rumors involving him and Taylor omg check it out:

WOW SO HE BASICALLY CONFIRMED SHE AUDITIONED FOR LES MIS AND LOST THE ROLE TO SAMANTHA BARKS I CAN’T LOL GO EDDIE

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Now onto the AMAS stuff oh dear:

To make Gigi’s hosting gig about herself, I mean to wish her faux friend good luck on her hosting gig, Tay decided to put this on Instagram:

This BABE is about to host AMAs with the amazing Jay Pharoah. Watch!! @gigihadid @jaypharoah

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OH GOSH IDK WHAT’S MORE AWKARD: THIS PIC CONTAINING GIGI’S FAKE SMILE OR THE FACT THAT SHE’S TAKING ATTENTION AWAY FROM HER FAUX FRIEND

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BTW, how ironic that Tay did this for Gigi before this gig:

“Kendall Jenner, Gigi Hadid and Karlie Kloss (!) Return to Victoria’s Secret Runway; Irina Shayk Makes Her VS Debut”

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During the AMAS, the producers decided to show this awkward ass commercial:

and then they decided to show this other awkward ass commercial:

AMAS, WERE YOU GUYS TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING LAST NIGHT?

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Anyway, Tay being her bitchy self decided to ofc make Selena’s win all about her wow:

BTW THAT CHEERING IS COMING FROM THE SAME BITCH WHO DIDN’T SUPPORT HER FAUX FRIEND WHEN SHE WAS IN REHAB

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That’s it for this post. Oh gosh, the AMAS were just terrible last night to Gigi’s terrible hosting gig to Selena’s discount Mother Theresa speech like wtf was that shit last night. And, don’t even get me started on how Selena beat both ADELE & RIHANNA like can you say rigged? Anyway, oh gosh I’m not excited for the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show that’s coming up, because not only will there be basic nepotism models walking the runway, Taylor might make an unwelcome cameo at the event. But, I might laugh if she does like she doesn’t like any of her faux friends having attention doesn’t she? She loves to have the spotlight all to herself and no one else lol. Bitch needs help. Goodbye everyone and I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!

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The real reason Tay wished Lorde a happy birthday and the bitch gets mocked on Family Guy

Good evening my beautiful readers. Nat is back with more news about everyone’s favorite stupid ho Taylor Alison Swift. Today in her dramatic fairytale adventures, I’m gonna talk about why she really wished faux friend Lorde a happy birthday (besides the fact that their record labels on both under the Universal Music Group umbrella). Also, Family Guy shaded the cunt as well lol. Let me tell you all about it:

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Just last night, Tay “helped” celebrate her faux friend Lorde’s birthday with her faux friends Aziz Ansari (wtf), her faux DUFF Lena Dunham (who she hasn’t seen since like forever lol), her girlfriend Karlie Kloss and Mae Whitman (the hell?):

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a tough as guts balloon veteran

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made my wishes ✨

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When you both wear cat shirts 🐾@azizansari

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SOME OF THESE PICS LOOK SO AWKWARD AND STAGED AS HELL OMFG

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Now let me tell you why this all happened:

Lorde released a letter on her Facebook page not only about turning 20, but she also teased new music:

A NOTE FROM THE DESK OF A NEWBORN ADULT
Tomorrow I turn 20, and it’s all I’ve been able to think about for days. I walk around the city, up by the park and by the health food store and down into the subway, this new age hanging in front of my eyes like two of those Mylar balloons that never come down. Can people see it, I wonder, that I’m about to cross over? On the subway I stare at boys I want to kiss and girls I want to hug. Do you see me?
I’m eating raspberries sitting up in bed, thinking about watching The Crown, and I probably should have written something nicer ages ago but my head is so full of lyrics and drums these days that this is all I can manage. But it feels very important I write to you, for some reason.
I was 16 when most of us met. Can you believe it? I laugh thinking about that me now – that glossy idiot god, princess of her childhood streets, handmade and ugly and sure of herself.
All my life I’ve been obsessed with adolescence, drunk on it. Even when I was little, I knew that teenagers sparkled. I knew they knew something children didn’t know, and adults ended up forgetting.
Since 13 I’ve spent my life building this giant teenage museum, mausoleum maybe, dutifully wolfishly writing every moment down, and repeating it all back like folklore. And now there isn’t any more of it.
(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
(*insert that emoji that looks like it’s eating its own face with worry, and also the one with sunglasses, and maybe also the poo*)
And I know, I know! There’s different stuff. Stuff that’s just as good, maybe better, just in a different way. If I’m being real with myself, in some ways I stopped feeling like a teenager a while ago.
Sometime in the last year or so, part of me crossed over. For one thing, I made a very deliberate choice to withdraw for a little while from a public life. I haven’t had my hair or makeup done in a year, the free handbags dried up LONG ago, and the paparazzi at the airport are almost always for someone else. And let me tell you, as much as I love being full noise album cycle girl, it’s been a motherfucking joy. (every once in a while I am recognised on the street – one of you breathlessly clutches my hand, shaking and speaking quickly, and I feel this SHOCK of love.)
I turned inwards to my friends, my family, towards this moment, so I could learn more about who I was, and so I could let this new project show itself to me.
And oh my god, it was a colossal year! One for the ages. I maxed out every single emotion I have in the best possible way, the colours still aching behind my eyes like this weird blissful hangover.
My heart broke. I moved out of home and into the city and I made new friends and started to realize that no-one is just good or bad, that everyone is both. I started to discover in a profound, scary, blood-aching way who I was when I was alone, what I did when I did things only for myself. I was reckless and graceless and terrifying and tender. I threw sprawling parties and sat in restaurants until the early hours, learning what it’s like to be an adult, even talking like one sometimes, until I caught myself. All I wanted to do was dance. I whispered into ears and let my eyes blaze on high and for the first time I felt this intimate, empire-sized inner power.
And then I wrote a record about it, all of it, so much more than what I’ve written down here, and I’m in new york getting it done. And tomorrow, I’m not a kid any more, and more and more I’m realizing that the weirdness of those Mylar balloons is going to be okay.
Writing Pure Heroine was my way of enshrining our teenage glory, putting it up in lights forever so that part of me never dies, and this record – well, this one is about what comes next.
I want nothing more than to spill my guts RIGHT NOW about the whole thing – I want you to see the album cover, pore over the lyrics (the best I’ve written in my life), touch the merch, experience the live show. I can hardly stop myself from typing out the name. I just need to keep working a while longer to make it as good as it can be. You’ll have to hold on. The big day is not tomorrow, or even next month realistically, but soon. I know you understand.
Oh my god it’s midnight now!!! I’m 20 fuck!!!!! And my perfect little brother Angelo is 15!! Happy birthday, kid. Sorry your sister is so weird and emotional in public all the time.
What i’m trying to say is: this is a special birthday. The party is about to start. I am about to show you the new world.
I love you forever.
L

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Karlie has the Victoria’s Secret fashion show coming up (wanna bet that Tay is gonna make this entire event about herself?):

The 2016 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is promising to be bigger than ever. Not only is it in a new location—Paris, of all places—but Kendall Jenner, Karlie Kloss, Irina Shayk, Gigi and Bella Hadid will take to the catwalk in their finest lingerie.

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This was just announced about Aziz:

Momofuku’s app, Ando, already has a celebrity chef. Now it has celebrity investors.

Aziz Ansari and Jimmy Fallon are two of the angel investors behind Momofuku restaurateur David Chang’s investment round for the tech project.

Ando is a delivery-only service available in select New York neighborhoods. The food is made in an undisclosed location, and the recipes are designed specifically for delivery. New York customers within the Midtown East delivery zone can order cheesesteak, fried chicken and other lunch or dinner options through the mobile app or online.

The company this week raised $7 million in a Series A round led by Forerunner. This round is the first time Chang has taken on any significant venture financing for any of his restaurants.

and this as well:

The Smithsonian has announced this year’s winners of their American Ingenuity Awards for innovation in art, science, and culture, AP reports. They include comedian Aziz Ansari, as well as David Lynch for his work bringing transcendental meditation techniques to inner-city schools. Rock band and novelty-video-institution OK Go are also being recognized for this year’s “Upside Down & Inside Out” video, which was shot in zero gravity. Other winners include LeeAnne Walters, a mother who helped spread awareness of the water crisis in Flint, and Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon.com. The ceremony takes place on December 8.

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Lena just released a terrible rap video supporting Hillary Clinton (make this fat bitch stop):

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Also, Mae’s film Operator just came out on DVD & Video On Demand today:

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And, you all know why Taylor is hanging out with Aziz, Lena and Mae right?

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Now onto Family Guy making fun of the stupid bitch:

On Sunday, Family Guy decided to poke fun at Tay lol:

GO SETH OMFG

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That’s the end of this post, folks. Oh gosh, I love how it was supposed to be Lorde’s birthday, but people are acting like it’s Taylor’s birthday like wtf. If I were Lorde, I would’ve been so fucking pissed. But, I’d like to applaud Seth MacFarlene for shading the cunt. That was the probably the most hilarious Family Guy episode I’ve seen in a long time. So, thank you lol. But, do you guys think Tay is gonna try to sue Seth for telling the truth about her? I sure hope not. If she does, she’s an even more crazier bitch than I thought lol.  That’s all for now. I’ll be back though with more about the spoiled brat soon folks. Bye!

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Tay and Drake rumors, Taylor makes Ryan Reynolds’ birthday about her and her immature Halloween bash

Hello, my amazing readers! I’m back with more news about everyone’s favorite drama queen Taylor Alison Swift. Today in her dramatic adventures, I’m gonna discuss those pesky Drake rumors (what the actual fuck), her making her faux friend Ryan Reynolds’ birthday about her ofc (so pathetic) and her stupid Halloween bash (why does she always throw these immature parties? I wonder what her 30th birthday is gonna look like in 2019 omg). Let’s celebrate the beginning of November and let me get started on that post for ya:

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On October 28th, it was announced that Tay had met Drake’s mom (what is up with her meeting her beard’s moms after 5 days of dating wtf):

The 26-year-old singer attended the rapper’s 30th birthday party this past weekend and she was introduced to his mom Sandi Graham at the event. She was joined at the party by a bunch of her gal pals.

Sources close to the stars confirmed to Gossip Cop that the two entertainers are “just friends” and any speculation otherwise is not true.

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As you all know, Taylor and Drake’s record labels are both under the Universal Music Group umbrella:

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Well, guess what else I found out!? Drake also has a partnership with Apple Music! Take a look:

The hip-hop artist’s latest music available through Apple is a big hit.

It turns out that Drake’s relationship with Apple is going quite well.

The hip-hop musician sold 632,000 copies of his new album, Views, during its first 24 hours of availability in Apple’s iTunes store, The Wall Street Journal reported. Over the first five days on sale, Drake sold more than 1 million albums through iTunes while Apple Music users streamed the album more than 250 million times, according to the article.

Drake has been one of the more prominent musicians to endorse Apple Music over the years. Last year, he served as an onstage spokesman at Apple’s AAPL -1.81% Worldwide Developers Conference when the company unveiled Apple Music. Since then, he has aired radio shows on Apple Music’s Beats 1 radio station and let Apple use his tracks in several Apple Music ads.

The Apple Music promotion is part of a broader deal Drake is said to have signed with Apple last year for $19 million. The deal included him promoting Apple Music and apparently some exclusivity that includes his work with Beats 1 and his decision to initially offer online album sales and streaming of Views only through Apple.

And, you all probably know by now who else has a partnership with Apple Music right? Oh, you don’t? Well, take a look at this:

“Different year, different partner.” That is an accurate description of the industry maneuvering behind Apple Music’s new relationship with Taylor Swift and the pair’s just-announced exclusive on a 1989 tour documentary.

Those looking for greater meaning in the Swift/Apple partnership can look at it as a changing of the guard; many of the most popular artists have shunned streaming services over the years. Occasionally a band like Metallica or Led Zeppelin would bring their catalogs exclusively to Spotify to great fanfare. And occasionally an artist successful enough to rile their distributors, from Thom Yorke to Adele, would keep their music off streaming services for one reason or another. Now Swift, an outspoken critic of Spotify who has routinely kept her newest music off streaming services, is going with Apple Music to release new content.

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Moving on now to Taylor Swift’s birthday party I mean Ryan Reynolds’ birthday party:

Ryan Reynolds was celebrating his 40th birthday party with his famewhore wife Blake Lively and he posted this pic on Instagram:

Taylor being the famewhore she is decided to drop this comment:

“Thanks guys, Now I’m drowning in tears of joy,” Taylor commented on the pic.

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Also, I love how didn’t even respond to her unnecessary comment and I love how Blake didn’t even say anything either. Goes to show such “great” friends they all truly are huh?

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Now onto some great news, Katy Perry filmed herself dancing to the song Famous (you know the song where Kanye disses the bitch) at one of his concerts lol:

GO KATY PERRY!

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Now onto the Halloween Bash oh gosh lol:

On October 31st, Tay was spotted celebrating Halloween with her faux friends Martha Hunt, Gigi Hadid, Camila Cabello (who she hasn’t even seen since April OMFG), Lily Donaldson, Emmie Gundler and Kennedy Raye:

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OH GOSH WTF IS HAPPENING IN THESE PICS AND WHY ARE THE DRESSED SO YOUNGER THAN THEY LOOK OMFG

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Taylor even commented this on her Instagram about her costume oh dear lol:

“Thanks @vancityreynolds for this costume, you’re the BEST deadpool inside contact ever!”

and Blake realizing she needed to make this about herself also, commented this on the pic:

“#HusbandUpgrade,”

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Funny, how this happened after the trailer for Ryan’s new movie Life (co-starring Jake Gyllenhaal aka Tay’s ex beard) dropped:

and after it was announced that Blake’s terrible movie All I see is you found a distributing film studio:

Open Road Films has acquired all U.S. rights to the drama thriller “All I See Is You,” directed by Marc Forster and starring Blake Lively and Jason Clarke. They will release the film nationwide August 4, 2017. It world-premiered at this year’s Toronto International Film Festival.

OH GOSH THAT FILM IS OPENING THE SAME DAY AS ALIEN: COVENANT THAT’S SO NOT GOING TO FLOP

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Gigi also had this to say about the bash:

“It was really cool, we were all working so my friend had a little, like, girls’ night at her house. We had chips and guacamole and pizza,” she explained.

Gigi later added, “I had a really, really intense costume planned and then I said, maybe I’ll save it. So then I found a cub scout shirt in Japan at a vintage store, and I made a costume out of it.”

DID SHE REALLY SAY THAT WE WERE ALL WORKING OMFG

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Now let me tell you why the rest of these bitches all needed publicity shall we:

Martha, Gigi & Lily all have the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show coming up:

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Lily Donaldson has been in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show since 2010 and the 29-year-old British model will be back in 2016.

The Hadids are going to Paris! Not only will Gigi Hadid walk the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show runway for the second year in a row, but her sister, Bella Hadid, will join her.

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Camila the cunt just released a new song:

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and you all know why Tay is hanging out with Camila and that Kennedy Raye chick right:

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and don’t forget that Taylor and 5th Harmony are both under the Sony umbrella:

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That’s it for this ridiculous post bitches. Oh gosh, Taylor is getting more ridiculous and immature by the minutes. Like, are you even sure you’re 26 Tay? Because, you’re acting like a 12 year old girl stuck in a grown ass woman’s body. Like, seriously you’re the same age as Ashley Benson and Elizabeth Olsen and they act 10x mature than you, bitch. Are you scared by the time you reach 30 that your stupid fans won’t buy your immature and terrible music anymore and you think a mid life crisis is gonna get you through life? It didn’t work for Johnny Depp, it’s not going to work for you, cunt. But, oh gosh does this mean she’s gonna go to the Victoria’s Secret show and take away the attention from her faux friends? I wouldn’t be surprised if she did that shit, I mean she did it to Gigi back in September so she wouldn’t have any remorse doing it again. Bye bye everyone and I can’t wait until December, because I’m gonna cook up a great birthday post about the stupid bitch. Bye everyone!
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