Happy Birthday to the stupidest bitch in the world!

Good morning my amazing readers. So sorry that I couldn’t post this on December 13th, I had to take care of my precious new dog. But, I’m happy to be back, because this is gonna be a very special post. Our precious white feminist ice queen Taylor Alison Swift turned 13 I mean 27 and I’ve decided to give her my own version of the best birthday present ever! Let me wrap it up and give it to you shall I?

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On December 13th, Taylor Alison Swift turned 27 years old (just 3 years from 30 yikes) and paid all of her faux friends to wish her a happy birthday lol:

Happy birthday…love you mucho ❀️

A post shared by Lily (@lilydonaldson) on

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I LIKE HOW A LOT OF THESE PICS ARE FROM PUBLIC EVENTS AND NOT EVEN PRIVATE

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She even paid some random people as well:

WTF KEVIN AND KATIE

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Now onto why Tay’s army of skanks wished her a happy birthday now:

After she wished Tay a happy birthday, Gigi announced this:

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Taylor’s girlfriend I mean Karlie just had her David Jones autumn/winter campaign come out (no pun intended):

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Martha’s Liu Jo SS17 campaign was just released:

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Tay’s faux token black friend Todrick just made an appearance on Harry:

and after his song was featured in the trailer for the new NBC show Emerald City (remember Universal owns NBC and remember who’s a part of Universal Music Group):

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After Ruby wished the bitch a happy birthday, it was announced that she’s in talks to star in Pitch Perfect 3 (the film series is also distributed by Universal Pictures, wonder how she she got the audition):

This is exciting casting news – Ruby Rose is in talks to join Pitch Perfect 3!

No plot details have been released yet and it is not yet known who Ruby will play in the movie, according to Variety.

Pitch Perfect 3 will be directed by Trish Sie, who is taking over for Elizabeth Banks after she dropped out of the director role due to her busy schedule. She will still reprise her role as Gail and produce the film.

Three actresses confirmed to return to the franchise are Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, and Brittany Snow.

Ruby is best known for her work on the third season of Orange Is the New Black and she will soon be seen opposite Vin Diesel in xXx: Return of Xander Cage.

SO NOT SEEING PITCH PERFECT 3 NOW

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Ruby’s Resident Evil: The Final Chapter poster also came out:

Resident Evil : The Final Chapter.

A post shared by Ruby Rose (@rubyrose) on

NOT EVEN PHOTOSHOP CAN MAKE RUBY ROSE LOOK BADASS HOW AWKWARD

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Ruby also has this film coming in January:

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Now onto Jaime (these 2 are still faux friends wtf lol), Jaime announced this on her Instagram page:

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It was just announced that Blake’s husband Ryan Reynolds has been nominated for a Golden Globe (NBC is also the channel that airs the Golden Globes “sips tea”):

Best Motion Picture, Musical, or Comedy
20th Century Women
Deadpool
La La Land
Florence Foster Jenkins
Sing Street

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical, or Comedy
Ryan Gosling, La La Land
Ryan Reynolds, Deadpool
Colin Farrell, The Lobster
Hugh Grant, Florence Foster Jenkins
Jonah Hill, War Dogs

SO YOU KNOW BLAKE IS GONNA TRY TO STEAL THE ATTENTION AWAY FROM HER HUSBAND

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You all know why that Kennedy Raye girl, Camila Cabello and Todrick Hall wished Tay a happy birthday right?

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Lily Donaldson just went to the British Fashion Awards:3B127F5B00000578-0-image-m-53_1480965412937.jpg

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Lily Aldridge just promoted Sakara on her Twitter:

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For Camila, it was announced that 5th Harmony is releasing a 3rd album:

Fifth Harmony recently rocked the stage at the iHeartRadio Jingle Ball concert (Dec. 9) at Madison Square Garden. During a backstage interview with radio host Elvis Duran, the ladies revealed that they have a third album in the works.

β€œ2017, it’s going to be popping,” promised 5H member Normani Hamilton. β€œWe’re working on Jingle Ball right now, but the third album is definitely going to be so lit,” Dinah Jane Hansen added. “We’re really excited.”

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Onto why Kevin Costner and Katie Couric randomly wished the cunt a happy birthday lol:

Kevin has this movie coming out:

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Katie is currently in the middle of a lawsuit uh oh:

Lawyers for journalist Katie Couric are urging a federal judge to dismiss a $12 million defamation lawsuit filed by Virginia gun rights activists over what they call a misleading documentary edit.

The Virginia Citizens Defense League filed a lawsuit in September over Couric’s documentary “Under the Gun.”

The documentary shows nearly 10 seconds of silence after Couric asks members of the Virginia Citizens Defense League how felons or terrorists could be prevented from purchasing a gun without background checks. Activists can be heard on audio of the exchange responding to Couric’s question almost immediately.

In a motion to dismiss filed this week, Couric’s attorneys say that even if one doesn’t think the edit was appropriate, “it simply does not rise to the level of defamation.”

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She also just interviewed Edward Snowden:

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Now onto Zayn name-dropping Tay oh great ughhhhh:

Zayn talks about collaborating with the bitch for that terrible 50 Shades Darker song:

β€œWe were kind of in separate places when I mentioned the idea to her. I spoke to her on the phone and she heard the song because (producer) Jack [Antonoff] had played it to her. So she really liked it and she went in the studio the next day,” he said.

Zayn added, β€œThe interesting thing was she’s actually friends with Gi, so she already reached out because Jack had just played her the song anyway, just because we’d done it together and she really liked it…so I asked if she wanted to be on it and she was cool with it.”

WAIT WHAT YOU MENTIONED THE IDEA TO TAY, ZAYN? NICE TRY BITCH LOL AND TAY IS LISTED AS ONE OF THE SONGWRITERS ON THE SONG, DUMBASS LOL:

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Zayn also teased the music video for the song puke:

β€œThere might be a video coming soon,” Zayn said. β€œWatch out for that. Yeah, hopefully [Taylor will be in it]. It might be a bit weird if it were someone else.”

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Now onto John Mayer shading Tay hahahhahahahhaha:

John tweeted this on Tay’s birthday lol:

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WOW, I CAN’T STAND JOHN BUT THIS IS HILARIOUS

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Now onto Reese Witherspoon name-dropping Tay go away bitch ughhhh:

Reese was on Ellen this week and talked about singing Taylor Swift and Katy Perry’s songs for her movie Sing oh dear lol:

β€œIt was much harder. I grew up wanting to be a country music singer so the Walk The Line stuff was more in my heart,” the 40-year-old actress revealed while making an appearance on The Ellen Show, airing today (December 13). β€œThis was really hard and I actually ran into Taylor and Katy while I was doing the movie and was like β€˜you guys, this is really hard,’ and they were like β€˜yeah, we know.’”

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You all know that Sing is a Universal Studios film right?

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That’s it for the birthday post. I wonder why Tay didn’t have Selena, Lorde, Lena or even Cara wish her a happy birthday. I wonder what happened with those faux friendships. Oh wait. I forgot. These “friendships” are as real as Tay’s implants and ass. My bad lol. But, oh gosh how are people not seeing that these faux friendships are fake like what’s the matter with you? But, Zayn oh gosh either you need more media training or you need to fire your publicist stat. Don’t start pulling a Hailee Steinfeld and confusing people with your lies. People are already confused and fed up by your past behavior in the last year and this year, just don’t. But, wow John Mayer that was hilarious. You get points from me man hahahahahahhahaha. Goodbye now and I’ll be back sooner than later, bitches!

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