Hello, hello, hello. I’m back again and it feels so damn good omg. I’m back to inform you of what’s been happening with our favorite white feminist Taylor Allison Swift in the loving month of February. I’m gonna talk about her terrible Super Bowl performance, her fake friends name dropping her and her former beard Tom Hiddleston spouting lies about him and Tay’s fauxlationship, oh gosh he’s getting more embarrassing and pathetic by the minute lol. Let me tell you all about it:
On February 2, Tay posted a video of her rehearsing for her Super Bowl performance (thank god she didn’t take the main stage, now that would’ve been a huge disaster) and she also sang an acoustic version of her awful song I don’t wanna live forever:
SO FUCKING PITCHY OMFG
Moving on, on February 3rd, Tay’s fake friend and fellow Sony artist Camila Cabello aka Camila the cunt decided to name drop Tay while promoting her horrible single Bad Things:
“We talk about love a lot and if I ever have any questions about love or if there’s anything that I’m going through at the time, whether it’s with a boy or with a friend, she’s a very good person to ask those kind of questions,” Cabello told The Sun. “She’s very knowledgeable about that stuff.”
After that lying mess, Bad Things topped the pop song charts:
The track is the first leader (and first chart entry) for rapper Kelly. Cabello reigns in her second visit as a soloist. A year ago, she reached No. 10 with Shawn Mendes on “I Know What You Did Last Summer.”
GEEZ I WONDER HOW THAT HAPPENED?
On February 4th, Tay sang for Houston (Poor Houston) for her Superbowl performance yuck:
WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING ON STAGE OMFG
Also, Ruby Rose needed a job, because she’s already had 2 flops this year and so she DJd Tay’s show lol:
THAT FAKE SMILE OF HERS I CAN’T
Moreover, during the Superbowl stuff, Former Glee star Lea Michele decided to name drop Tay lol:
“There isn’t a day that goes by that Taylor Swift music isn’t blasted in my house. Right now, her new song with Zayn … if I play it one more time, I might combust,” jokes the star. “I love her. I was just talking to Emma Roberts about her the other day and we were reading the inside of her booklet for Red, and she has this amazing little excerpt she wrote inside about different kinds of love. She’s really an amazing songwriter and her music is just the best girl music ever.”
After that randomness, Tay supposedly sent Lea flowers for her comments what the actual fuck lol:
I HOPE KARLIE WON’T GET MAD AND I WONDER IF LEA AND TAY EVER TALKED ABOUT DIANNA AGRON
Also, let me tell you the real reason why this all happened: Lea Michele is a Columbia Records aka Sony artist!
and you all remember who the queen bee of Sony aka RCA Records is right?
Lea has also been teasing her upcoming album like anyone asked for a 2nd album from her in the 1st place:
Michele herself has been busy lately promoting her upcoming album, Places, which features some of her most personal music yet.
“[My] first record had a little bit of a heaviness to it and was obviously more of a pop-heavy record,” she explains. “For this one, I really just kind of went back to my roots and the music I grew up listening to. Where I’m at in my life right now, which is in a really happy, positive and inspired place, I wanted all of that to really reflect in my music.”
Now onto Tay’s faux DUFF aka Lena Dunham name-dropping her, because her terrible show is finally ending yay and she has nothing else better to do in her so called career lol:
“I think that young woman…it’s so hard. I think about the relationships that I had in my early twenties and if they had been public, it would’ve been a disaster,” Lena said.
She added, “And also, I mean, not to repeat age-old feminist points, but it’s like you know, any male actor her age who’s going out and dating is applauded and to just have a perfectly normal amount of romantic partners but be held to impossibly high standards by the press, like it’s just an unfair and unwinnable game.”
Also, the reason why Peter Pettigrew is name-dropping Lord Voldemort is because Vogue just did a 73 questionnaire video with her as well ew lol:
Moving on, Tay’s fellow Sony artist and faux friend Kelsea Ballerini decided to name drop her right before it’s announced that she’s a performer at the Grammys this month omg lol:
On learning from pal Taylor Swift on handling the public: “I have been super cool with things being public. I think that’s part of being relatable. But I think I’ve had to learn to be OK with not being polished all the time. I don’t get to just share the pretty things…”
Now onto today: Uncle Creepy aka Tom Hiddleston decided to lie about his fauxlationship with Tay in GQ just so he could promote Kong Skull Island. Face it Thomas and Luke, it’s gonna flop, so just stop:
On his relationship with Taylor: “Taylor is an amazing woman. She’s generous and kind and lovely, and we had the best time. Of course it was real….So we decided to go out for dinner, we decided to travel…She’s incredible. A relationship in the limelight…A relationship always takes work. And it’s not just the limelight. It’s everything else.”
On The “I Heart T.S.” t-shirt: “The truth is, it was the Fourth of July and a public holiday and we were playing a game and I slipped and hurt my back. And I wanted to protect the graze from the sun and said, ’Does anyone have a T-shirt?’ And one of her friends said, ’I’ve got this.’ ” The friend pulled out the “I ♥ T.S.” tank top that Taylor’s friends are contractually obligated to own. “And we all laughed about it. It was a joke.” So that’s his statement on the entire relationship: an explanation of the tank top. “It was a joke,” he repeats. “Among friends.”
On the conspiracy theories that their relationship was fake: “I have to be so psychologically strong about not letting other people’s interpretations about my life affect my life. A relationship exists between two people. We will always know what it was. The narratives that are out there altogether have been extrapolated from pictures that were taken without consent or permission, with no context. Nobody had the context for that story. I’m still trying to work out a way of having a personal life and protecting it, but also without hiding. So the hardest thing is that that was a joke among friends on the Fourth of July…I just, I was surprised. I was just surprised that it got so much attention. The tank top became an emblem of this thing.”
OKAY THERE WERE 2 THINGS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD WHEN I WAS READING THIS ARTICLE IT WAS THIS:
That’s it for the month of February (for now). Oh gosh, Tom just stop you’re getting worst than Zayn and that says a lot like if you’re gonna lie tell a more convincing story like why would you slide down a waterslide and play in the water if your “back was hurting”. Heck, that was even worst than the unbelievable story Cara told on Cordon lol. Gosh, Luke is a failure as a publicist, like Tom I know he’s your boyfriend and all, but fire him, you just need a new and better publicist like stat. And, him calling Tay’s fake friends, his so called, “friends” like that was just an epic fail right there lol. Well, I’ll be leaving now, but I’ll be back the next time Tay does or says something shady or just downright stupid lol. Goodbye everyone!