I review the rest of February and the beginning of March!

Omg guess what guys!? I’m finally back to talk to you about everyone’s favorite death eater leader Lord Voldemort aka Taylor Alison Swift. Today in her death eater adventures, I’m gonna talk about how her fellow death eaters have been name dropping her left and right. From Nagini aka Camila the cunt to Peter Pettigew aka Lena the Lard Dunham. Also, Ed Ugly Sheeran decided to unnecessarily name drop his boss in various interviews and Uncle Creepy aka Tommy Girl Hiddleston has been getting a lot of questions about his ex-beard (surprise, surprise). Let me tell you all about it:

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Before his awful Grammy performance, Ed decided to name drop Tay omfg lol how pathetic:

The 27-year-old singer’s close friend and former collaborator Ed Sheeran has revealed the extreme measures that Taylor takes to make sure her music doesn’t get into the hands of the wrong person.

“She would never send new songs, no,” Ed said in a new interview. “I hear them but it has to be with her.”

Ed even said that Taylor has people that will fly with music in locked briefcases so that certain people can hear the songs early!
“I remember when I did a song with her for her album, I was in San Francisco and they sent someone with a locked briefcase with an iPad and one song on it and they flew to San Francisco, and played the song I’ve done with her,” Ed said. “And they asked if I like it and I was like ‘Yeah’ and then they took it back, that’s how I hear it.”

DID HE JUST SUBTLETY REFER TO HER AS A CONTROL FREAK

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Also, how ironic that he name dropped her before his Saturday Night Live performance:

and you all know about the NBC and Universal partnership right?

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Moving on now, Frank Ocean decided to rightfully call out Tay winning over Kendrick Lamar at the Grammys last year:

Ok Ken (and David). As much as I hate to make you guys famous or even respond to you directly. We all die one day and you’re old so fuck it. Yea yea my 2013 performance at the Grammys was absolute shit. Technical difficulties, blah blah. Thanks for the reminder. Very much appreciated. Fuck that performance though. You think that’s why I kept my work out of the Grammy process this year? Don’t you think I would’ve wanted to play the show to ‘redeem’ myself if I felt that way? In reality, I actually wanted to participate in honoring Prince on the show but then I figured my best tribute to that man’s legacy would be to continue to be myself out here and to be successful. Winning a TV award doesn’t christen me successful. It took me some time to learn that. I bought all my masters back last year in the prime of my career, that’s successful. Blonde sold a million plus without a label, that’s successful. I am young, black, gifted and independent.. that’s my tribute. I’ve actually been tuning into CBS around this time of year for a while to see who gets the top honor and you know what’s really not ‘great TV’ guys? 1989 getting album of the year over To Pimp A Butterfly. Hands down one of the most ‘faulty’ TV moments I’ve seen. Believe the people. Believe the ones who’d rather watch select performances from your program on YouTube the day after because your show puts them to sleep. Use the old gramophone to actually listen bro, I’m one of the best alive. And if you’re up for a discussion about the cultural bias and general nerve damage the show you produce suffers from then I’m all for it. Have a good night.

GO FRANK OCEAN

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Moreover, Peter Pettigrew aka Lena Dunham was paid to defend her faux friend/boss for not speaking out the 2016 Election:

“I just think everyone has to do it their way. When I was lesser known, I was like, “Who could not share their opinion?” Then I found out that when you talk about politics, people straight up tweet you the floor plan of your house and say they’re coming to your house. You have to fucking watch it because people are nuts,” Lena told Rolling Stone.

“She’s been in the public eye since she was 15. I felt young when my career started and I was 23, 24. When I met her, she was newly 22, and she was a f*cking seasoned pro at this stuff. Watching the way that she understands the vicissitudes of the cycle, and she just keeps making her work, – that’s just really impressive to me. That’s how I hope to live my life, which is not as a slave to public opinion, but just as somebody who continues to make things,” Lena continued.
“She’s truly just an artist who has to make things to survive. I guess that’s what we have most in common. And she’s never not making music. If people know about it or they don’t, she’s never not making music, and that’s like, something that I’ve really watched with a lot of admiration. Because she’s been put through the ringer, and she’s continued to make her work. People who understand how to protect themselves but aren’t so beaten down that they can’t be creative – that to me is the greatest.”

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Also, it’s funny how Lena got a huge hefty paycheck for defending the bitch before the film for her new movie My Entire High School Sinking Into the Sea Trailer debuted on the web a mere 5 DAYS afterwards oooh:

THIS LOOKS AWFUL AF, BUT IT’S A LENA DUNHAM FILM SO

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The day after Peter Pettigrew was paid to defend her boss, Nagini aka Camila the Cunt Cabello decided to name drop Tay in her Billboard Magazine interview lol oh gosh:

Cabello’s Florida friends, who all predate her appearance on The X Factor, reconnected for “Friendsgiving” in 2016 and FaceTimed an eighth-grade theater teacher who encouraged Cabello when she first got into acting and singing. She’s not much for going out: “I had a phase in Miami where I was like, ‘I’m going to do all the things I would do if I were 19,’ ” which she is. “I went [to clubs], and I was like, ‘I don’t love this.’ ” After our brunch in Los Angeles, she plans to meet Troye Sivan for coffee and then have him and Taylor Swift over to her Silver Lake Airbnb for some “chill stuff.”

OH GOSH CHILL STUFF HUH CAMILA AND YOU’RE A CELEB, WHY ARE YOU APPARENTLY “STAYING” IN AN AIRBNB HAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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Also, how hilarious that fellow SONY artist Camila the cunt name dropped her faux friend before this song came out:

MY DEAR THIS SONG SOUNDS AWFUL GOOD LUCK WITH THAT FLOP SOLO CAREER OF YOURS BITCH

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Also, Troye Sivan is a Capitol Records artist:

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And, looked what I found out about Troye lol:

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Also, Troye’s Out Magazine photoshoot came out THE SAME DAY as Camila the Cunt’s interview:

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Now onto Little Big Town ughhhhhh, one of the members, Karen Fairchild decided to say Tay will always be a, “Nashville Girl at Heart”, even though Taylor was born in Pennsylvania lol:

“She’s a Nashville songwriter,” Little Big Town‘s Karen Fairchild told USA Today. “When you write a song like “Better Man” top to bottom on your own with your acoustic guitar, that’s Nashville. She’s a storyteller. She loves country music. Her last record was more poppy but who knows? Taylor can do anything she wants to. And she will forever be a Nashville girl.”

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Funny, how Karen name-dropped Tay before their album came out:

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and also look what record label Little Big Town are a part of:

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Furthermore, Ed decided the name drop the bitch THE DAY BEFORE HIS ALBUM CAME OUT and this is what he decided to say:

“Taylor [Swift] isn’t going to be releasing until probably the end of this year – Christmas is the smartest time to release because that’s when everyone buys records. So I’ve got a full year of just all Ed, all the time,” Ed told the BBC.

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Also, he name dropped her before his awful IHeartRadio Music Awards performance a mere 2 days later lol:

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Now onto Lorde releasing new music and how Tay made it all about herself, I mean promoted her faux friend’s single, because they’re both Universal Music Group artists my bad: Tay decided to promote Lorde’s new single Green Light by doing this:

g2g brb just gonna make up an interpretive dance to this magnificent bop for the ages ELLA I LOVE YOU

A post shared by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on

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Moving onto Uncle Creepy aka Tom Hiddleston being asked about his ex-beard lol:

Tom Hiddleston gave an interview to The Telegraph and was asked if he regretted his relationship with Taylor Swift, specifically with regards to “the publicity and gossip the romance engendered.”

The writer of the article noted that the 36-year-old “testily” responded, “What should I regret, in your mind? I would rather not talk about this if that’s alright.”

“I’m just thinking about this. Everyone is entitled to a private life. I love what I do and I dedicate myself with absolute commitment to making great art and great entertainment, and in my mind I don’t conflict the two. My work is in the public sphere and I have a private life. And those two things are separate,” he added.

EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO A PRIVATE LIFE HUH

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BECAUSE,

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YOU WERE SO

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PRIVATE LAST SUMMER THOMAS

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WITH YOUR

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RIDICULOUS SHENANIGANS

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Moreover, today Ed decided to tell the world in Rolling Stone that he not only slept with one of his other fellow death eaters (ewwwwww), he also talked about how he and Tay “always have each others backs”. BAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH

On hooking up with some of Taylor Swift‘s friends: “Taylor’s world is celebrity. I was this 22-year-old awkward British kid going on tour with the biggest artist in America, who has all these famous mates. It was very easy. … I would often find myself in situations just kind of waking up and looking over and being like, ‘How the f-ck did that happen?’”

Nothing can divide them! Ed Sheeran opened up about his close bond with BFF Taylor Swift in his new Rolling Stone cover story. The British singer, who just dropped his third album, Divide, first met the pop star when he opened for her 2013 Red Tour.

“I was on the most amazing f–king tour in the world. I was just living in a country that I didn’t belong in, in a town I didn’t really know anyone,” Sheeran, 26, told the mag. “She would be there if everything ended for me. Taylor is kind of an anomaly in that sense. She’s omnipresent because she’s the most famous woman in the world, so she can’t make the decision to not be in the press. I always stick up for Taylor.”

Swift, 27, became a fan when she heard his hit “Lego House” in 2011. “It just cut through everything else,” she told RS.

“It’s awesome meeting famous people. But that’s not life. That’s not reality,” Sheeran told RS. “One day this will f–king end. And I know the one person that’s going to remain constant is Cherry (Seaborn, his girlfriend). I should just enjoy this while it’s there, but not let it become my reality. Because that’s not the reality I want to live in.”

The “Castle on the Hill” singer feels the same way about Swift, even though they only see each other once or twice a year. “We’ve gotten matching Scottish folds, made each other arts and crafts Christmas presents, vacationed with our families, and had each other’s backs,” Swift told Rolling Stone. “He is the James Taylor to my Carole King and I can’t imagine a time when he wouldn’t be.”

OKAY, IF YOU CLAIM YOU 2 “HAVE EACH OTHERS BACKS” THEN WHERE WERE YOU WHEN KIMYE ATTACKED HER LAST JULY ED? AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE OTHER BULLSHIT YOU’RE SPEWING AND YOU BASICALLY ADMITTED TO JOINING HER TOUR FOR MORE EXPOSURE, DUMBASS

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Also, it’s funny how this interview came out THE DAY BEFORE he performed at his not so secret show in NYC lol:

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That’s all for the misadventures of Lord Voldemort and her fellow death eaters (for now). Oh gosh, is Ed taking lying advice from Lily Aldridge or something, because it sure seems that way lol. Also, I’m really starting to think that he’s in love with Tay like dude, she’s not into guys like go back to your girlfriend and leave Tay alone, oh wait you’re barely relevant without her so lol. Also, like I said before, I still don’t feel sorry for Uncle Creepy at all like he’s the one who wanted more fame and exposure, he got it like stop being annoyed about being asked about Tay, you idiot lol. Also, Lena, I know you’re gonna fade into irrelevancy once your stupid ass show finally says goodbye, but oh gosh you defending Tay is just making you look more pathetic than you already are lol. BTW, Camila get better PR training oh gosh like Tay has ever “chilled” in her 27 years on being on this earth lmfao, nice try bitch lol. Goodbye now and I’ll be back soon kids!

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