Good afternoon to my beautiful and amazing readers on this lovely Sunday afternoon. I’m back once again to report that He Who Shall Not Be Named has finally been photographed with her new beard Joe Alwyn. And, my oh my are they just the cutest faux couple ever. (Just kidding BTW, these two look as real as a knockoff Louis Vuitton bag). They were spotted in Nashville of all places. (Guess Tay wanted to change it up from Rhode Island this time, like what’s next bitch? Orlando, Florida?). Also, I discovered something about Tay and Joe’s REAL connection. I’ll just say it has something to with a very special company that Tay has lots of connections with. Let’s discuss the pics shall we?
Just yesterday, the paps that Tay and Joe called photographed them discussing their plans for their fauxlationship on a balcony (WTF is this shit? Romeo and Juliet? Gross.) in Nashville:
IDK WHAT’S WORST ABOUT THESE AWFUL PICS? HOW TERRIBLE TAY LOOKS OR THE FACT THAT THEY LOOK MORE LIKE SIBLINGS WHO ARE FORCED TO HANGOUT TOGETHER AFTER A HUGE FIGHT
Now onto their actual connection:
You guys probably remember (or the people who actually saw the movie lol) Joe’s huge box office bomb Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk right?
Well, I found out some things about the film: The movie was distributed by Tristar Pictures:
A SONY PICTURES ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY HUH?
Also, look what I found out too!
SHE SAW IT WITH FELLOW SONY ARTISTS HAIM OMFG
I’m done with this post, but not this fauxlationship. This summer, I will be keeping a close eye on how this fauxlationship will unravel and what ridiculous piece of Tay Swift clothing Joe is going to wear to her 4th of July bitch bash (Let’s face it, he’s going to wear something hideous and awful, I mean he’s attending a Tay Swift party, it’s mandatory). But gosh, he’s already looking annoyed with her, like Joe you better set yourself straight (no pun intended) or Tay will extend the contract to another year. Don’t push your luck, kid. Also, if this is what Tay is going to keep looking like in her photo ops, I wonder what she’s going to wear the next time she calls the paps? Sweatpants? Pajamas? Like, seriously aren’t you rich af? Why do you keep dressing up like a homeless person? Also, do your hair geez you look like a 5 year old with that hairstyle. I mean, you are mentally 5 years old, but geez you’re nearly 28 years old! Put yourself together! Bye now people and I will see you all next time!